Sunday, September 30, 2007

Paris Hilton Can't-Can't

Tween role model Paris Hilton wants to discuss her new movie, her music and her new perfume, Can-Can.

David Letterman only wants to hear about her time in the Slammer.

High School Musical 5: "Junior Year Abroad"

Troy, Chad and Ryan ditch the States for urban street dancing opportunities in Paris.

And don't forget kids, tonight is the "High School Musical Marathon" on Disney TV.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Herb of Tweens

Based upon my Google search stats, if you are a tween or teen looking for information on High School Musical 3 or 4, naturally my blog is THE place to go. Especially if you live in England.

Since I already cover tween music, fashion and arts, it is only natural to expand my tween empire to include coverage of tween news. Think of me as the taller, hairier Hannah Montana. I am Herb, tweens hear me roar.

In local DC tween news, DC school officials still cannot say if all books have been distributed to local schools. In protest, students at Ballou High School perform their angry satirical performance art piece, "Where Are My Da** Textbooks, Michelle?"

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Race Car Driver and the Possum on the Couch

I think my grandfather Charlie, in the center of the above picture in the dark jumpsuit, had a drinking problem. No one ever told me that and my family is one of those that does not ask personal questions. Family secrets stay that—secret.

He was a race car driver in the 1920s and there are boxes of black and white pictures with him standing next to some of the early pioneers of auto racing like the Chevrolet brothers and Indianapolis 500 winner Jimmy Murphy. How did a kid from Kentucky get into auto racing at such venues as Indianapolis’s famous Brick Yards? I don’t know. Why did he quit? I don’t know. Somehow I knew even as a small child that you didn’t ask. Nice people don't pry.

The Charlie I knew was a sweet, gentle man who didn’t seem to have a lot to say. He would come home from lunch from his job as a mid-level engineer with the Kentucky State Highway Department and have a shot of whiskey with his hot lunch my step-grandmother made for him every day. You didn't actually see Charlie drink but as I got older I noticed that the bottle of whiskey on top of the the ice box on the enclosed the back porch would gradually be less and less full until suddenly a new bottle appeared. I remember that if no one was looking my sister and I would sniff the empty shot glass next to the bottle and the sweet acrid smell of whiskey both delighted and repelled us as it burned our nostrils.

During dinner he made solo trips to the back porch and spent the rest of the evening semi-asleep on the couch as friends and relatives chatted away around him in the living room. That’s what adults did in the early 60s in the South, talk politely about everything and nothing while puffing on their favorite brands of Kentucky's finest tobacco. My sister and I, the perfectly behaved children of people who don't pry, sat there on display under threats not to squirm in the heavy blue haze of smoke and avoidance in that living room.

Occasionally Charlie would suddenly ask a question or make a sly comment.

Chaaaarlie”, my mother Pug would declare in her soft Southern accent, “You’re playing ‘Possum’!”

In my family we didn’t have drunks. We had people who played “Possum.”

After the first round of mouth and throat cancer they pulled out his teeth and cut out part of his jaw. He ate soup the rest of his life. Campbell's bean soup for the next 20 years and two more operations for cancer. Bean soup along with the secret shots of whiskey, cigarrettes and playing “possum” on the couch.

Many years after Charlie mercifully finally passed away my mother died suddenly from the undiscovered lung cancer that had spread to her brain. Pug rapidly regressed and went from her first signs of symptoms to her death in 19 days, two days after what would have been my parent's 47th anniversary. I knew that after watching her father slowly die of cancer that contracting cancer was her greatest fear. We didn't talk about it of course. Or ask.

Two years after mother's death, a historian was referred to my father, Herb Sr from a relative. The historian was writing a book about the early attempts to make Owensboro Kentucky, my grandfathers hometown, the new center of aviation manufacturing.

He showed us the yellowing newspaper clippings that described how my grandfather had taken up flying and had designed a new wing for airplanes. He and his business partner had grand plans to open a plant to build airplanes in Owensboro based upon Charlie's new wing technology.

In the late 20s, seeing a plane was still a rare thing in small towns and the entire town of Owensboro turned out for the first test flight. My grandfather's partner piloted the plane and as he slowly circled the town, one wing broke apart and the plane crashed onto Frederica Street, a street lined with grand homes and the street my grandfather grew up on, killing the partner and his passenger.

We had no additional information to offer. Herb Sr. said he had heard my mother mention this once or twice but he didn't recall many details. We didn't ask a lot of questions. Uncomfortable silence. The visibly disappointed historian gave me copy of the newspaper articles and I think they are in my filing cabinet today. I don't know for sure, I never looked at them again. Maybe tomorrow. Possums still live on my family's couches.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

High School Musical 3 and 4!

Featuring the soon-to-be-hit song: "My Roommate's a Cutter"

Because this is the site where Tween America comes for fashion tips, literature, and art I am honored to announce the sequels to HSM2:

Monday, September 17, 2007

Something Old Something New!

Everyone's favorite best man OJ Simpson's back in the news.

Holding my nose here as I channel surf!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Leave General Petraeus Alone!

Britney is not the only one with a overzealous fan...

Word of the Day


(Adjective) Not returned in kind; [syn: unanswered]

Location: Various locations South of Logan (SOLO) a/k/a Below Logan (BLOWLO)

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Taken for a Ride

The DC Taxicab Commission has polled taxi drivers and discovered that only 25% of the 686 polled favored time-distance meters over the current zone system. In other DC polls the DC Banking Commission polled local banks in order to determine that 92 % of bankers believe that ATM fees are reasonable. The Department of Motor Vehicles recently reported the shocking results that only 89% of DMV managers agree that the DMV delivers high quality and efficient service.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Square Fish, Okay!

To the annoying woman holding up the lunch line at my favorite deli demanding to know what kind of fish is used in its $4.95 fish sandwich, listen to Bernice, okay?

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Rodeo Fashion Faux Pas Through the Years

In honor of all the cowboys and cowgirls in town, I decided to review all my "Rode Hard and Put Up Wet" pictures from the Hotness of Herb Photo Vault. What was I thinking?

October 1993

Herb of Virginia in My First Rodeo Cowboy Hat™ and displaying early bear tendencies in a snazzy sleeveless yellow plaid shirt. I did not have relations of any kind with the catatonic mullet on the right.

September 1995

Herb of Pittsburgh wearing white pants and pastels after Labor Day to the rodeo. In addition there is a possible feathered hair violation.

October 1997

Herb of Pittsburgh at an ill advised food stop on the way to the rodeo. Hair color blends into Golden Arches due to continued exposure to natural rays of the "sun." Signs of a Trump-like comb over are beginning to show.

September 2000

Increasingly bearish Herb of DC looking intently at the rodeo action wearing the EXACT same snazzy yellow plaid sleeveless shirt worn in 1993 in picture #1.

No... really look at ME. On the right. In the same shirt. HEY OVER HERE!!

October 2007

My Sad Little Agoraphobic Rodeo ™

One more cowboy fashion faux pas and yet another reminder I'm glad I don't live in the 'burbs.

Happy Rodeo Y'all!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Cat Dance-A-Thon

Cat companion practices his mad dance skillz to prepare for the"High School Musical 2 Dance-Along" Saturday, September 8.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Peaches and Herb at the Del Ray Farmers Market

Personal Assistant, photographer and private security guard JessiCub accompanied me to the Del Ray Farmers Market (every Saturday from 8:00 am to Noon).

Herb no Peaches

Peaches no Herb



Cling peaches

Not peaches

Can you identify what is wrong with the below picture? Correct!!! This shop is located in Del Ray not Old Town!

Afterwards I went home and made my mother's favorite peach pie. Life is good!

Pug's Easy Peach Chess Pie

Cut up 2 or 3 peaches
Melt 1 stick butter
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
1 egg (beaten)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

Bake 350 degrees for one hour or until done
(you may want to cover the edge of the pie with foil to prevent burning)

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Ho's and Hose at the DC Fire Department?

D.C. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty yesterday said he was "troubled" by reports that the city's fire department is investigating whether its employees were operating a prostitution ring out of fire station bunkhouses.