Spring II

Another nice day in my front yard! Double click the pics to enlarge...

BLOOMOFF!

13th St NW Spring 2007

The Spring Flower Circuit has finally stumbled into DC and the horticultural party in my garden has started, albeit somewhat late. The pansies, those ubiquitous twinks of the garden remained upright and perky during most of the cold weather of February and March and continue to put on a colorful and loud show when not making catty comments about passerbys over 40 wearing Abercrombie and Fitch apparel.

The sight of crocuses blooming is normally the first sign of Spring but this year it appears mine did not buy their tickets in advance and are lost somewhere in the coat check of the 9:30 Club.

Robust and bearish, the daffodils were slow to arrive as though there was first a required stop at an all- you- can-eat buffet at the Miracle-Gro Bar and Grill. Arriving in waves with lookalike friends, these jolly yellow fellows can be expected to stay until early May or last call whichever comes first.

My tulips, the smooth and beautiful Circuit Queens of Spring, have not appeared at all and are still hiding in the mulch, rolling and waiting in vain for Nation[s] to reopen.

Vile!

Did she piss off her food stylists or something? For this you get a TV show?










http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_24869,00.htm

Henry Rollins: A Love Letter To Ann Coulter

Henry Rollins fantasizes about Ann! And who desn't?

Pain!

Thank god for painkillers! I am doing better though. Thanks for asking!

Clipped

Never cut someone's hair with a beard and sideburn trimmer. Just sayin'.

Sorry NC about your Britney moment! Your head looks great shaved, though. Really!

Lucy and Lizzie

Lucy and Lizzie have shared my life for almost four years now. Adopting them wasn't easy; everything in DC is stupid competitive including finding a suitable small or medium sized dog. I hit the Washington Animal Rescue League (WARL) at least twice a week hoping to find some mutt no one wanted but each dog usually had a long waiting list of Senators or Nobel Prize winners who owned a large farms frequently visited by crippled orphans.

I thought I had struck the doggie lottery when I discovered the adorable five year old sisters Lucy and Lizzie. The League was only interested in someone who would adopt both. They weren't immediately available due to medical reasons and were "old" in dog AND gay years (35) thus eliminating those who only wanted young leash candy and guaranteeing that my dogs would never leave me for $1 Sunday Vodka Specials at JRs.

Figuring two would be as easy to care for as one, I gulped and signed the papers and began daily visitation. Lizzie had heartworms and was recovering for some reason in the Cat House which I guess is "The Promises" of WARL. Lucy was resting comfortably in the Dog Pavilion after being spayed.

Each day I would visit Lucy and take her to see Lizzie for family bonding amongst the cats. Lucy would stare adoringly into my eyes and lick me and I thought, "She loves me, she is the perfect pet." Lizzie just trembled and gave me that doggie victim look that says "I'm sorry sir, please don't burn me with your cigarette again" and I thought "She needs me, she is the perfect pet."

Four years later Lucy still stares adoringly into my eyes. All day. All night. Obsessive scary stalker staring. I wake up at 3:00 am and there she is staring at me if she isn't licking the blanket. Or licking my arm, scalp, toes, or random items of clothing. Licking 24 X 7. Licking that doesn't stop until the skin breaks. Otherwise she is staring. STARING. Staring and thinking about how she would like to lick me. I am just one big potbellied human popsicle to her.

Four years later Lizzie still has the Battered Dogs Hotline on speed dial. She knows that despite being fed, pampered, and sheltered by me, tonight COULD be the night I decide to off her in some particularly gruesome manner. When I walk by Lizzie cringes and gets in the that doggie submissive pose. If only this could be the crowds reaction to me at the Eagle.

Lucy sleeps, within a tongues length, on the well licked and soggy pillow near my head each night. At the foot of the bed quakes and trembles Lizzie, poised to make a run for it if I suddenly awaken in the mood to bludgeon her with the remote control. Between all the licking, trembling, and oh I forgot to mention Lucy's snoring, is it any wonder I have red eyes every morning?

Now that the floors have been refinished we have a new issue--doggie scratches on the floor. Scratches from Lizzie running from me and Lucy running towards me. I never wanted to become that person who insists that everyone de-shoe upon entering. However, I am beginning to think that this is a good idea:
http://www.petboots.com/wboots/index.htm