For Your Rental Consideration

Clean, bright* furnished one bedroom available May 1 in a large quiet townhouse one block to the U Street Metro. You will share** a large renovated hallway bathroom. There is one closet in the bedroom equipped with a California Closet system organizer on one side. Utilities included.

You must have good credit, verifiable references and not be a Twitter addict.*** Please be dog and cat**** friendly or at least good at pretending.

The kitchen has been recently remodeled and has granite countertops and SS appliances*****. There is a large deck in the back overlooking a small garden.

I am the homeowner and primary tenant and I am a fairly boring and poor guy****** working in the non-profit sector so if you are an intern or student type, this may be like moving back in with Mom and Dad. Well like moving in with Mom and Dad******* if Mom is fashion and design challenged and Dad is a amiable oaf (think Al Bundy). I am not looking for a BFF or a companion, just a reliable non-serial killer type tenant.

The house and kitchen are fully furnished********* so the only items you need to bring are what will fit in your 10' X 11' 2nd floor room.**********

* Two large windows, one small.

** By share I mean you take your turn, not actually SHARE.

*** Facebook addiction is understood. Oh and I forgot to mention I have WiFi.

**** The cat doesn't approve of any of us and constantly tries to escape.

*****Wow! That sounds really pretentious. Did I mention my scrapbooking hobby?

******I do have a blog though so if you are messy I will totally post the pictures all over the interwebs

*******Ha! You call that music! In my day we had Duran-Duran!

******** Poorly. I don't have the gene and have a large balance on a JC Penney credit card.

********* Unless you have a kick-ass 42 " LCD TV which would look awesome in the den constantly tuned to my porn (HGTV).

Seeking Non-Serial Killer Type Roommate

You: quiet, dependable with good references, a steady income and looking for a great place to live in a convenient location. You are the type of person described by others as “Quiet, yet a good neighbor" not "Seemed alright. The only time I really talked to him was when he asked to borrow my wheelbarrow and a bag of lime.”

This offering is for a clean, bright furnished one bedroom available May 1 in a large quiet townhouse with one noted DC Facebook addict blogger and one part-time couch surfer. You can easily walk from here to 14th Street restaurants, U Street entertainment, Yum's and Whole Foods. Only one block to the U Street metro.

Along with you lack of recent appearances on episodes of “Cops” or “America’s Most Wanted” you must also be dog and cat friendly.

The house and kitchen are fully furnished so the only items you need to bring are what will fit comfortably in your room.

$950. Utilities included.

No clown art, please.

DC Blogger Seeking New Roommate and New Material!

You must have a fascinating job, verifiable references, good credit, eccentric friends and the ability to generate humorous quotations. Do you often find yourself involved in wacky or thought provoking situations? Are you a frequent witness of crime and/or a daily Metro bus rider? Have you recently been involved in a dramatic and painful break-up? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a house with a middle-aged design and fashion challenged gay man and his two dogs, a cat and his zany underemployed dogsitter? Hilarious!

If so you may be the perfect roommate since I have run out of things to write about my life so let's start dissecting yours!

If you already have a nickname move to the front of the line! Otherwise be prepared to be assigned some unlikely 'Nom de Blog' such as “Logan Idol”, “eBlush” or “Cousin Chutney.”

Please be neat and clean or not mind having pictures of your mess posted for the entire interwebs to be seen.

Must be irony friendly.

My house is one block from U Street Metro/Starbucks/Black Cat/ Café St Ex. The furnished clean, bright bedroom has been recently updated and shares a remodeled hall bathroom.

Rent: $950 plus security deposit. Short term okay. No smokers or Twitter addicts. Room available May 1.