1. The Power of Being a Blog Bitch--I've had some success using Facebook and Twitter to escalate complaints about customer service suckage but there is nothing better than a long and snark filled blog rant about how The Large Monopoly Cable Company can kiss your Area of Dominant Influence (ADI) as defined by the Telecommunications Act of 1996. Plus there's the satisfaction that knowing that your rant will remain somewhere out on the interwerbs for years for anyone Googling "Eat my rancid maggot-filled compost pile, ComTwat." Contrast that with getting upset and yelling into the phone "I'm going to Tweet my ass off about about this." Yeah I know, lame.
2. Albert Haynesworth. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Repeat 21 million times.
3. Corn shuckers. Can you believe that there still are poor misguided people out there who insist on shucking their corn at the grocery store? I thought I had wiped out this scourge a couple of years ago but surprisingly no other blogger has picked up this crusade since I retired. Please people, just stop it. You look idiotic stripping your corn in the produce aisle of Giant.
4. The Real Housewives of DC (RHoDC). Bravo TV offers up one more reason for America to despise Washington by bringing it's hair extension pulling Housewive franchise to the DC Metro Area. And by DC Metro Area I mean Front Royal, Va. Bravo TV Senior VP Andy Cohen has said that this will "be the Masterpiece Theater of Housewives" which presumably means that the table will be properly set for tea and dainty cucumber sandwiches before it is flipped.
Showing posts with label The New Jersey Table Flip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The New Jersey Table Flip. Show all posts
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Monday, June 29, 2009
More from the Couch
After the huge response from last weekend's post, not to mention that everyone is now whispering "How come all of a sudden Herb has all this time to update his blog during the day?", I feel I must publish more of the wit and logic of JessiCub, my very own couch surfing non-paying temporary tenant And by temporary I mean when he first took perch on the couch I was still blogging daily about Sarah Palin the VP candidate, goiters and the joys of the corn harvest 2008.
So instead of posting my hot naked mafioso XXX pictures of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" (Google search please note this) and my word-for-word analysis of the table flipping episode (I am mildly obsessed with this show) I now present JessiCub Monday!
Compassion
On my panic attacks:
"I have them also. Sometimes I think I've lost my Blackberry and panic and then remember I had hidden it in my crotch. "
Culture
On the "Real Housewives of New Jersey":
"I've seen real snuff films and felt less personally violated."
Cuisine
After warning him not to eat the eight day old lasagna from the fridge:
"Why?"
So instead of posting my hot naked mafioso XXX pictures of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" (Google search please note this) and my word-for-word analysis of the table flipping episode (I am mildly obsessed with this show) I now present JessiCub Monday!
Compassion
On my panic attacks:
"I have them also. Sometimes I think I've lost my Blackberry and panic and then remember I had hidden it in my crotch. "
Culture
On the "Real Housewives of New Jersey":
"I've seen real snuff films and felt less personally violated."
Cuisine
After warning him not to eat the eight day old lasagna from the fridge:
"Why?"
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