Bear invasion rocks CoHi. Is Petworth next? 
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Columbia Heights Metro station was closed for a time on Tuesday morning because of a large, stuffed polar bear that was found outside the station.
Police first described the stuffed bear as a suspicious package, and the bomb squad was called in to investigate. There was a heavy police presence at the scene, and witnesses described the bear as a large, stuffed polar bear that was standing up near a trash can.
The incident caused a disruption in service for riders on the green and yellow lines at the Columbia Heights Metro station. Service was restored around 11:45 a.m.
There's no word yet from police about why the bear was there or who may have left it. They also haven't said what else-- if anything-- was found around the scene.
The DCist offered some theories on the bear on their website. One post suggested it might have been a man in a bear suit, and another said it could have been a creation by a local artist. Click here to read the theories from the DCist website in full.
More Bear coverage here and here.
So do you think traffic is bad now in Columbia Heights? Do you feel like we now have our own little slice of Tysons Corner in CoHe with cars aimlessly circling as they attempt their urban assault on Target?
A Herb of DC Special Report!
Maybe I have found one of the reasons. I decided to follow the directions to the new DC USA Target from the Target website.
First I obediently head north on 16th St NW and turn right on Irving St. (little known fact: Irving Street is named after famed author Clifford Irving).
From Irving St I submissively followed the sign directing me to PARK and turn left on Hiatt Pl NW. Orginally Hiatt Place was the home of Hiatt Industries back in the golden age of Columbia Heights when it was was the center of the Handcuff Manufacturing Industry.
Proceeding ahead on Hiatt with the other lemmings I spot the sign directing me to turn right to PARK... 
...which leads to a ramp that is still closed. Did the PARK signs really mean "You better circle back around and use the Park Rd entrance, sucker?" I fell for this cruel trick at the opening of Target on March 8 ALMOST A MONTH AGO. Okay, I am very gullible. Ask me to pull your finger. I will. Every time.
Couldn't someone at DC USA buy some poster board at Target or Staples and put up a sign directing traffic to the OPEN entrance on Park Rd? Would it be too much to ask that Bed, Bath, and Beyond kick in a sign to help guide visitors?
Following these directions results in the following meandering trip through the 20010:
1. North on 16th St
2. Right on Irving
3. Left on Hiatt
4. Left on Park (the road)
5. Left on 16th
6. Left on Irving
7. Left on 14th
8. Left on Park (the road)
9. Left into the DC USA garage to PARK
All these lefties reminds me of this story.
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"
"I believe you're in my chair."
Well I didn't quite complete the CoHe DC USA hokey-pokey. Crankily forging up 14th St I spot a fierce parking place right out front. Sweet! Life is good again! But really, DC USA. Let's end the Columbia Heights Merry-Go-Round parade. Don't make me carry my package of 12 paper towels on Metro!
So finally blogging is starting to pay off! In recognition of my power and influence over my tens of readers, Performance Service Plan vendor Best Buy has invited me (and a date!) to attend its DC USA Pre Grand Opening in Columbia Heights on March 26 from 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM. "The Buy" (influencers like me know to call it "The Buy" not "The Best" or heaven forbid "Best Lie") has even sent me coupons for up to 12% off. Sweet! A party! And I get to do manly electronics shopping. It's like a Tupperware party with a dope selection of Big Screen TVs!
Will this event generate the same blogging frenzy that the opening of Target generated? Or will DC bloggers return to their usual "been there done that got the DC Blogs T Shirt" attitude and ignore this like they ignored the opening of Marshalls?
See you there on Wednesday! Well see you as long as you or "Current Resident" received the coveted invitation.
