Saturday, March 8, 2008

The First Annual Target State Fair Opens in Columbia Heights!

Finally the long awaited DC USA Target State Fair has opened in Columbia Heights so personal assistant/photographer/food taster JessiCub and I decided to hit the grand opening of the midway for a day of fun!

First we followed the Munchie Map to find Corn Dogs. Everyone at the State Fair wants a Corn Dog even if it is a little early for National Corn Dog Day! The only thing better is a deep fried Twinkie but that booth must have been closed today.

Next we hit some dope amusement park rides. No wimpy "Small World After All" or lame "Flying Tea Cup" rides here! I hold on for dear life on the "Screaming Cyclone Shopping Cart Roller Coaster" and I am whisked to the summit of Mt. Columbia. Really regretting that Corn Dog now!

Rocketing back down to 14th St I notice I have some company on the "Screaming Cyclone Shopping Cart Roller Coaster." Someone has hurled into my cart. Hurled closet organizers. Cool! Hey maybe someone else queasy can cough up a Thomas O'Brien® Coverlet (chocolate).

Knees shaking and still a little wobbly I wander over to the Entertainment Complex to take a break and catch a show. So who will be featured at the Target State Fair? Some classic group like The Oak Ridge Boys or comedian Yakov Smirnoff? Oh my god! High School Musical! A little bit of East High here in the CoHe! The Target State Fair is just too awesome for words! Anyway...What team? Wildcats!!! What team? Wildcats! WHAT TEAM? WILDCATS!!!

Although the day is getting late I cannot leave without trying my luck at some Carnival games. Since the Pie Eating Contest is already over I enter the Bath Tissue Lifting Contest and astonish the crowd with my strength and dexterity. 24 rolls baby! Only $11.00! And I win a little goldfish in a bowl!

Finally with my appetite temporarily sated, my arms full of fashionable bargains, my closet soon to be organized and the DC Treasury a little richer, we decide to say goodbye to the DC USA Target State Fair mascot, Mayor McSpeedy, and head for home. We will be back! After all, The Bed Bath and Beyond Mixed Martial Arts Challenge premieres at the DC USA Complex in another two weeks and I have been practicing my rear naked chokes.

Well we try to get home. There is a typical DC traffic jam trying to exit. Sigh...

Target DC
3100 14th St NW (Columbia Heights Metro)
Washington, DC 20010
(202) 777-3773
M-Fr: 8:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m.
Sa: 8:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m.
Su: 8:00 a.m.-9:00 p.m.


Anonymous said...

Sorry. I think having big box stores in DC is a mistake and will do my harm than help.

MightyMe said...

Wow! As always, your blog is hilarious. I think you had more fun than anyone else at the Target State Fair!
To your serious commenter, while I don't want to see DC overrun with "big box" store, we do need some reasonable places to shop. I don't think Target is the Anti-Christ.

Herb of DC said...

Thanks Mighty Me! Your blog is great and I have linked to it now! See you at the Bed, Bath and Beyond opening!

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