Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Smoking Pigeon

DogSitter: I figured out what was making the noise in the chimney.
Herb: What noise?
DogSitter: The fluttering and flapping noise.  At first I thought I had inadvertently opened a portal to another dimension when I smudged your house during a Wiccan ceremony but instead it's just a pigeon.

Herb: How do you know?

DogSitter: ‘Cause he’s flying around your house. I have to leave now. Bye!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Tell Me Your JNR Construction Story!

Tell me your JNR Construction story?  Who doesn't love those fun lovin' kids from Maryland!  Those fine folks at the Better Business Bureau give them an "F" and I suggest that stands for FABBO!

Can you say it as well as their own profile?

Excellent Quality for an Affordable Price
#1 in customer service Your own personal project manager From start to finish Over 20 yrs experience Competitive prices aa See our star ratings Please call today Thank you

Renee Jimenez, President

John Jimenez
D/B/A JNR Construction
J N R Construction
J_N_R Construction
711 Redberry Drive  
Port Republic, MD 20676
DC License 68000944/7430
202 462-2222

Community Service
Construction assistance with Chesapeake Church
Habitat for Humanity
Our Company/Industry
I chose to work in this industry because It is all i've ever done. I love working in District of Columbia because It is where I was born.
• Began in the industry: 1986
• Business Description: Family owned and operated
Things You May Not Know About Me• Favorite Local Restaurant: Ben's Chili Bowl
• Favorite Travel Destination: mYRTLE bEACH
• How I Spend My Time Off: Involved in my community

Service Magic
Better Business Bureau
Sita Tile
Carpet Queen
17 months
Master Bedroom
Floor installation
Angie's List

Washington, DC
District of Columbia

Send your accolades to Herbofdc at gmail dot com. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Does Anyone Really Like the Month of March?

Does anyone really like the month of March? March is the hump day of months---better than the frozen two that preceded it but you are really looking forward to the warmth of the two that follow it.

It is said that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. In other words March is that blowhard Uncle who gets drunk and violent at the family reunion, cruelly teases the younger children and tweets his apologies the next day. Pussy!

Quick name some March holidays? St. Patrick's Day? Just a bunch of drunks trying to get through a month where the temps can be 70 degrees one day and 30 the next. Ides of March? Backstabber!! National Goof-Off Day on March 22? Do we really need a day for this? You are already reading this blog post on work time aren't you?

Even frickin' EASTER won't commit to March. Easter follows some inexplicable lunar schedule that puts it in April 70% of the time and March 30% of the time. 30%!!!! And not including Leap Year!

Need any more reasons to dislike March? Two words--Beiber Fever! Yes the Velvet Muppet was born in March 1994.

March? Please do!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Climb on the Tiger Blood Bandwagon

I know I should be above this--it's too cheap and easy a target plus when this doesn't end well, we are all going to feel awful.

But there are winning songs about being a total bitchin rock star from Mars..

And Jimmy Kimmel and Charlie Brown and Charlie Sheen...

The train wreck that just keeps giving and giving...

Even my employer, The American Red Cross is doing it...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dogsitter Do's and Don'ts!

Dear DogSitter:

Once more I am obligated to remind you that by the term "sit" I actually mean "walk." And no part of "sit" includes "smudging your house by burning sage in a Wiccan ceremony to remove evil thoughts, bad spirits and negative energy." Although I am sure that the dogs appreciate that their house is cleansed both physically and spiritually you cannot deny that it now smells like someone took a blowtorch to the Thanksgiving turkey.

Please let me know if you have any questions.