Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day Weekend in the Shadow of Logan

No need to leave town when the Logan Circle area goes all out for Memorial Day weekend which is appropriate since Logan is named for General John Logan who is credited with creating the Memorial Day holiday.

First up is the Buffalo Soldiers Motorcycle clubs annual Buffalo Thunder rally a few blocks away at the African American Civil War memorial.  This annual event attracts hundreds of bikers to the memorial for a ceremony before biking down to the Mall to join Rolling Thunder.

Next is a Memorial Day ceremony at Logan Circle.  Speeches, music and reenactors that culminated in a Wreath laying ceremony in front of General Logan's statue.  

Last but to least, up the street again to the Cafe St Ex Chili Cook-off benefiting Garrison Elementary.  Chili, beer, burgers, and games for adults and kids!

Great weekend but there was one sour note.  Really? A VIP tent on T Street for a chili cook-off?  On Memorial Day?  Not sure General Logan would approve.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Ransom Note for Mother's Day!

At the end of my junior year of college, I delayed my return from Indiana University for a week to party network which meant I would arrive home Mother's Day weekend.  Along with my return for the summer I would be bringing a semester's worth of dirty, smelly turn-the-socks-inside-out-and- spray-with-deodorant-and-wear-again laundry. To announce this, I painstakingly cut out words and letters from magazines and newspapers to create a "ransom style" note to mail that said something to the effect of:

"YOU wiLL Never sEe your Son AGAIN unless Y0U Agree to do HIS Laundry!"

Arriving on Mother's Day Eve I discovered a "ransom style" reply taped to the front door:

"WHAT sOn?"

Happy Mother's Day Mom!   Love, miss you and I probably should confess that I lied when I said there were no laundromats in Bloomington, Indiana--but I guess you really knew that all along!!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

14th and U Farmer's Market Reopens

Finally!   The Market reopens for the season!

Saturday May 7 (9:00 am to 1:00 pm) 2011  14th and U St NW in front of the George "Superman" Reeves Center (Washington, DC)

Vendors include:

Kuhn Orchards
Truck Patch Farms
Mountain View
Northern Neck Produce


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

My Baby Boomer Birth Certificate


With all this birther nonsense I decided to look at my baby boomer birth certificate for the first time in many years. Not sure what the birth certificate says about me and the person I would become but it certainly reveals something about government and society at the time.

The good news--the State of Texas officially certified that I am legitimate! Yep, there it is in Box 6 "Legitimate? Yes."  How awful it must be for those who were branded by the state "Legitimate? No" during this era.

Box 9 and Box 14 indicate that my parents "Color or Race" is white. Apparently there was no need to record my own "Color or Race."  I wonder what was input for color or race if you weren't white.  Hmm.

For conspiracy theorists:

1. An unfamiliar font is used on this document.   I believe it is called "Typewriter."

2. I am clearly named "Herbert Jr" on this document but my father's name is listed as "Hebert Sr."  So which is my name?  Am I Hebert or Herbert?  A Jr or not? Hebert of DC?   Does this mean I can never be President and since I was born in an Air Force hospital is this part of a lifetime government cover up? 

I urge all to pull out your birth certificate and check it; sadly the document may be required more and more for identification in the future.  What did I say about a birth certificate reflecting the past?  Unfortunately it may also reflect government and society in the future.

* Personally identifying information was blurred out on this form

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Shutdown-Mageddon: The BAD News is that DC Parking Enforcement Will be Suspended!

Whether on televised newscasts or online, the chattering Shutdown-Mageddon class all agree on one thing in regards to the looming Federal government shutdown: “The good news is that DC parking enforcement will be suspended!” [insert snicker here]

I never thought I’d be defending DC parking enforcement but it’s time we had an adult conversation here.  I’ve certainly made light of DC’s relentless parking enforcement in the past although to be honest I have only received one ticket in 25 years that wasn’t my fault. Admittedly, that’s still one ticket too many but the Two Inviolable Rules of DC Parking are:

1. If you park illegally in DC you will get a ticket.
2. See Rule #1

Like it or not but parking meter fees and parking enforcement fines are revenue generators for cash-strapped DC.   Can’t tax Virginia or Maryland commuters… well at least we can nab ‘em when they park illegally!

If I understand the 2012 DC budget these fees contribute to about $157 million in non-tax revenue. If the shutdown continues how will these revenues be made up? More taxes on DC residents? More cuts in services? We know our Masters in Congress won’t be kicking in any extra assistance to make up for their lack of adult supervision.

Commuters will have no incentive to pay parking meter fees and will park willy-nilly all day with little risk of being ticketed--it appears the police will only ticket the most egregious of violators. DC will also lose revenue and taxes generated from city parking garages since why would you pay $18 a day to park if you can freeload on the street? Restaurants and business in downtown already hurt by Shutdownapocalypse anticipate that metered parking will be available for customers but instead they will be clogged by the invasion of the parking squatters.

So is the elimination of DC parking enforcement a good thing? Nope. Just one more kick in the DC budget from our Congressional Overlords.

“Thank you Sir, may I have another?”

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The "Other" Cherry Blossoms (With Bonus Cheesetastic Video)

Want to get your cherry blossom on but don't feel like fighting the mob scene at the Tidal Basin?   Some of the most beautiful cherry blossoms in the Metro area aren't at the feet of  Thomas Jefferson, but are up the road in Bethesda's Kenwood neighborhood located just beyond the DC border.  The 1200 white and pink blossom Yoshino cherry trees line the streets of Kenwood, creating an umbrella of flowers over the homes and roads.

Despite living in the area for 25+ years I had never seen them and luckily picked the perfect day last Sunday to enjoy their spectacular, natural beauty.

The trees are on private property so if you visit please stay off the lawns and definitely don't climb the trees, no matter how tempting!

There were several stands usually staffed by children, selling cookies, snacks and drinks for charity.


BONUS VIDEO is taken in Kenwood Circle filled with throngs of people enjoying the Spring day. (This is my first video with music--be kind about the somewhat lame cover of the Byrds "Turn! Turn! Turn! (to Everything There Is a Season)"!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Smoking Pigeon

DogSitter: I figured out what was making the noise in the chimney.
Herb: What noise?
DogSitter: The fluttering and flapping noise.  At first I thought I had inadvertently opened a portal to another dimension when I smudged your house during a Wiccan ceremony but instead it's just a pigeon.

Herb: How do you know?

DogSitter: ‘Cause he’s flying around your house. I have to leave now. Bye!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Tell Me Your JNR Construction Story!

Tell me your JNR Construction story?  Who doesn't love those fun lovin' kids from Maryland!  Those fine folks at the Better Business Bureau give them an "F" and I suggest that stands for FABBO!

Can you say it as well as their own profile?

Excellent Quality for an Affordable Price
#1 in customer service Your own personal project manager From start to finish Over 20 yrs experience Competitive prices aa See our star ratings Please call today Thank you

Renee Jimenez, President

John Jimenez
D/B/A JNR Construction
J N R Construction
J_N_R Construction
711 Redberry Drive  
Port Republic, MD 20676
DC License 68000944/7430
202 462-2222

Community Service
Construction assistance with Chesapeake Church
Habitat for Humanity
Our Company/Industry
I chose to work in this industry because It is all i've ever done. I love working in District of Columbia because It is where I was born.
• Began in the industry: 1986
• Business Description: Family owned and operated
Things You May Not Know About Me• Favorite Local Restaurant: Ben's Chili Bowl
• Favorite Travel Destination: mYRTLE bEACH
• How I Spend My Time Off: Involved in my community

Service Magic
Better Business Bureau
Sita Tile
Carpet Queen
17 months
Master Bedroom
Floor installation
Angie's List

Washington, DC
District of Columbia

Send your accolades to Herbofdc at gmail dot com. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Does Anyone Really Like the Month of March?

Does anyone really like the month of March? March is the hump day of months---better than the frozen two that preceded it but you are really looking forward to the warmth of the two that follow it.

It is said that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. In other words March is that blowhard Uncle who gets drunk and violent at the family reunion, cruelly teases the younger children and tweets his apologies the next day. Pussy!

Quick name some March holidays? St. Patrick's Day? Just a bunch of drunks trying to get through a month where the temps can be 70 degrees one day and 30 the next. Ides of March? Backstabber!! National Goof-Off Day on March 22? Do we really need a day for this? You are already reading this blog post on work time aren't you?

Even frickin' EASTER won't commit to March. Easter follows some inexplicable lunar schedule that puts it in April 70% of the time and March 30% of the time. 30%!!!! And not including Leap Year!

Need any more reasons to dislike March? Two words--Beiber Fever! Yes the Velvet Muppet was born in March 1994.

March? Please do!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Climb on the Tiger Blood Bandwagon

I know I should be above this--it's too cheap and easy a target plus when this doesn't end well, we are all going to feel awful.

But there are winning songs about being a total bitchin rock star from Mars..

And Jimmy Kimmel and Charlie Brown and Charlie Sheen...

The train wreck that just keeps giving and giving...

Even my employer, The American Red Cross is doing it...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dogsitter Do's and Don'ts!

Dear DogSitter:

Once more I am obligated to remind you that by the term "sit" I actually mean "walk." And no part of "sit" includes "smudging your house by burning sage in a Wiccan ceremony to remove evil thoughts, bad spirits and negative energy." Although I am sure that the dogs appreciate that their house is cleansed both physically and spiritually you cannot deny that it now smells like someone took a blowtorch to the Thanksgiving turkey.

Please let me know if you have any questions.