Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dear Tenant:

Dear Tenant:

Thank you for sneaking out last night since I think it did save us from an embarrassing "Cops" style eviction. Hopefully you can find another furnished room to trash one block from the U Street Metro soon for $300 a month. It's clearly your entitlement, right? I am sure your new landlord will appreciate your "jumpsuit as window treatment" idea. HGTV anyone?

The dogs already miss you. They will have to find another source for old pizza crusts and Taco Bell wrappers that you continually left on the floor for the entire 10 week period you lived here.

I am not sure why you left behind so much clothing, DVDs and books but GoodWill will have a nice donation in your name this weekend! Thanks!

P.S. Glad you took the "Teenage Vixen" porn with you. See you on "To Catch a Predator" some day.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Best Buy and Me!

So finally blogging is starting to pay off! In recognition of
my power and influence over my tens of readers, Performance Service Plan vendor Best Buy has invited me (and a date!) to attend its DC USA Pre Grand Opening in Columbia Heights on March 26 from 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM. "The Buy" (influencers like me know to call it "The Buy" not "The Best" or heaven forbid "Best Lie") has even sent me coupons for up to 12% off. Sweet! A party! And I get to do manly electronics shopping. It's like a Tupperware party with a dope selection of Big Screen TVs!

Will this event generate the same blogging frenzy that the opening of Target generated? Or will DC bloggers return to their usual "been there done that got the DC Blogs T Shirt" attitude and ignore this like they ignored the opening of Marshalls?

See you there on Wednesday! Well see you as long as you or "Current Resident" received the coveted invitation.

Walk Like a Peep!

The Tomb of King Peepankhamun is the winning Peep Show II diorama from the annual Washington Post Contest. Follow the link and see all 37 amazing finalists!

Black Friday? Big deal! Cyber Monday? Yawn! The day of after Christmas? Overrated!

Don't forgot that Monday March 24 is one of the biggest shopping days of the year!!!

50% off Easter Candy sales begins!

I will be stocking up!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Peeps Want You to Ride the Metro!

The Washington Area Metro Transit Authority has enlisted Peeps to remind you to take the Metro to the new Nationals Ball Park. In the below video, can you guess who will win a race to Nationals Park--the Metro savvy Peeps or Stubborn Pink Peep who "doesn't do" Metro and drives his car?

As Stubborn Pink Peep circles the Ball Park in a vain search of a parking space, his purple and green Peep pals take Metro to the Navy Yard Metrorail station and find that all escalators are miraculously working and then totally annoy the other 24,000 Peeps expected to take Metro by standing on the right AND left as they exit the station.

Let's hope the Peeps do not drink and smoke during the game!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Parking for Sale?

The below flyer was placed on the windshields of cars parked on 13th St NW on March 16. So what is Logan Station selling these days--condos or parking?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Going Green for $5 Off!

I am going green and not just for St. Patrick's Day! Remember back in the olden days, say 2005 when we believed bottled water was good since it was saving us from drinking polluted municipal water? Now we know that it is a really, really bad thing. Pay attention people! Hey I used to have a full head of hair and a positive outlook on life. Things change!

Making bottles to meet America's demand for bottled water uses more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually which is enough to fuel 100,000 cars for a year or provide for California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's
daily commute by jet. Nearly 90% of these bottles are not recycled.

I have now declared my house a bottled water free zone and am possession of the biggest, baddest Brita Water Filter Pitcher on the market--the UltraMax Dispenser. UltraMax baby! It fits perfectly in the Fisher-Paykel and holds enough water to keep the Junior Herb Youth Corp sufficiently hydrated in order to perform typical Generation Y activities such as playing video games, demanding promotions at work, ordering carryout from Manny and Olga's and not taking out the trash. There is is even a $5.00 coupon available online to be used for the purchase of any Brita system, no blarney!

I'm green! And I saved $5.00! Al Gore, call me!

I purchased my Brita system at Target. Not at the fierce metro accessible Target that was the subject of the most breathless blog coverage of a store opening in the history of retailing but the boring old one in Virginia at Potomac Yards. Okay so I drove. Maybe I'm not really THAT green. But Happy St Patrick's Day anyway!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Signs of Spring I

Friday March 14, 2008

Springtime on 13th St! Looks like my daffodils are in full bloom. When I was a kid in Southern Indiana we would shoot with our BB guns the "heads" off the invading daffodil armies. I don't think you are allowed to do that in DC.

The pansies survived the winter and so did a few of the ornamental cabbages. Or is that kale? The chicken bone mulch thoughtfully provided by passing pedestrians helps my plants survive harsh DC winters.

Did someone plant this at 3:00 am? Must.Do.Some.Weeding.

And speaking of spring cleaning my desk area is out of control and I really need to get around to installing those fugly CFC light bulbs.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Hot Governor-on-Pilgrim Lovin' at the Mayflower Hotel

So allegedly the transaction between NY Governor Spitzer and the high priced prostitute took place at DC's Mayflower Hotel where the "historic hotel in Washington DC offers a timeless aura highlighted by an abundance of modern conveniences."

And apparently some of the worlds oldest conveniences.

I'm sure the Mayflower is a nice hotel with a great gift shop but somehow I don't picture this as a place for a rip-roaring sexual dalliance.


1. It is owned by Marriott. Need I say more?

2. The Mayflower makes me think of the Pilgrims and their grim black clothing and clunky shoes. Quick name one hot Pilgrim! See you can't!

3. Pilgrims remind me of Thanksgiving which is the least sexy holiday of all. Heavy doses of green bean casserole, tryptophan and guilt does not make for an evening of hot governor lovin' without mainlining Cialis.

4. And finally Thanksgiving brings forth the image of one of the least sexy things ever. Giblets.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The First Annual Target State Fair Opens in Columbia Heights!

Finally the long awaited DC USA Target State Fair has opened in Columbia Heights so personal assistant/photographer/food taster JessiCub and I decided to hit the grand opening of the midway for a day of fun!

First we followed the Munchie Map to find Corn Dogs. Everyone at the State Fair wants a Corn Dog even if it is a little early for National Corn Dog Day! The only thing better is a deep fried Twinkie but that booth must have been closed today.

Next we hit some dope amusement park rides. No wimpy "Small World After All" or lame "Flying Tea Cup" rides here! I hold on for dear life on the "Screaming Cyclone Shopping Cart Roller Coaster" and I am whisked to the summit of Mt. Columbia. Really regretting that Corn Dog now!

Rocketing back down to 14th St I notice I have some company on the "Screaming Cyclone Shopping Cart Roller Coaster." Someone has hurled into my cart. Hurled closet organizers. Cool! Hey maybe someone else queasy can cough up a Thomas O'Brien® Coverlet (chocolate).

Knees shaking and still a little wobbly I wander over to the Entertainment Complex to take a break and catch a show. So who will be featured at the Target State Fair? Some classic group like The Oak Ridge Boys or comedian Yakov Smirnoff? Oh my god! High School Musical! A little bit of East High here in the CoHe! The Target State Fair is just too awesome for words! Anyway...What team? Wildcats!!! What team? Wildcats! WHAT TEAM? WILDCATS!!!

Although the day is getting late I cannot leave without trying my luck at some Carnival games. Since the Pie Eating Contest is already over I enter the Bath Tissue Lifting Contest and astonish the crowd with my strength and dexterity. 24 rolls baby! Only $11.00! And I win a little goldfish in a bowl!

Finally with my appetite temporarily sated, my arms full of fashionable bargains, my closet soon to be organized and the DC Treasury a little richer, we decide to say goodbye to the DC USA Target State Fair mascot, Mayor McSpeedy, and head for home. We will be back! After all, The Bed Bath and Beyond Mixed Martial Arts Challenge premieres at the DC USA Complex in another two weeks and I have been practicing my rear naked chokes.

Well we try to get home. There is a typical DC traffic jam trying to exit. Sigh...

Target DC
3100 14th St NW (Columbia Heights Metro)
Washington, DC 20010
(202) 777-3773
M-Fr: 8:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m.
Sa: 8:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m.
Su: 8:00 a.m.-9:00 p.m.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Separated at Birth?

Trading Spaces newly recycled Paige Davis and American Idol's Danny Noriega?