Unisolating My Life with Skippy the Licensed Therapist

Recently during our weekly session Skippy the Licensed Therapist (STLT) suddenly looked up from his iPhone and said "You isolate yourself too much. This is the root cause of many of your problems. You will never fix your medical problems without also addressing this"

Herb: Huh?

STLT: To erase it you must face it.

Herb: You stole that from Suze Orman!

STLT: You need more funemployment.

Herb: That's Clark Howard!

STLT: Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face.

Herb: Why are you channeling "Steel Magnolias"?

STLT: Fake it until you make it!

Herb: AA?

STLT: I'm sure when the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose. So, thank God we're celebrating him now.

Herb: That's from Liza. And we weren't even discussing Michael Jackson yet. Pay attention!

STLT: Your insurance only covers 8 more sessions this year.

Herb: OK, Gotcha!

So I am trying to unisolate which is very difficult when you have had 15 + years perfecting being a loner--admittedly the cute, nice kind of loner not the bitter, crazy type that shoots up Whole Foods when they are out of pecan crusted trout.

So last weekend I participated in the following unisolating activities:

Gardening

JessiCub and I worked in my much neglected garden. And by worked I mean I pointed at the mounds of decaying dog poo and he picked them up while explaining his get rich plan that somehow includes Twitter, naked Bear Happy Hour and Tyra Banks.

14th and U Farmers Market

Okay I am there ever Saturday anyway but now I know that it is a medically prescribed procedure like green tea enemas. I lingered over the peaches and talked about the weather. Good practice! Apparently unisolated people like to talk about the weather a lot.

Brunch

Some of the restaurants I order food from for delivery actually have an interior space where you can "dine in." Who knew? Sunday I went to Cafe Salsa on 14th St and I have to say it was wonderful! I believe we talked about the weather.


















I plan on more unisolated activities soon. If you see me, please be gentle and only discuss the weather. Or organic enemas. I'm just a beginner!

More from the Couch

After the huge response from last weekend's post, not to mention that everyone is now whispering "How come all of a sudden Herb has all this time to update his blog during the day?", I feel I must publish more of the wit and logic of JessiCub, my very own couch surfing non-paying temporary tenant And by temporary I mean when he first took perch on the couch I was still blogging daily about Sarah Palin the VP candidate, goiters and the joys of the corn harvest 2008.

So instead of posting my hot naked mafioso XXX pictures of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" (Google search please note this) and my word-for-word analysis of the table flipping episode (I am mildly obsessed with this show) I now present JessiCub Monday!

Compassion

On my panic attacks:

"I have them also. Sometimes I think I've lost my Blackberry and panic and then remember I had hidden it in my crotch. "

Culture

On the "Real Housewives of New Jersey":

"I've seen real snuff films and felt less personally violated."

Cuisine

After warning him not to eat the eight day old lasagna from the fridge:

"Why?"

Pioneer Daze

I don't think we have had an update on JessiCub lately, my personal assistant, couch surfer and dog walker. And by dog walker I mean he carries previously mobile dogs from room to room. And by personal assistant I mean he eats my food.

In reference to the newly purchased organic peanut butter...

JessiCub: Have you tried that peanut butter yet?
Herb: Yes, it's good.
JessiCub: Don't you think it is kind of oily?
Herb: You have to stir it each time to distribute the oil.
JessiCub: I didn't think I would have to churn my own peanut butter every morning...

Hint #1

Singer, actress and baritone Cher sings and performs 7 different parts in "West Side Story."

This is either:

1. The greatest performance ever
2. The biggest ego driven train wreck ever
3. Required viewing for Gay 101
4. All of the above



At 5:26 in Cher hits a high C (B flat?) that peels wallpaper and neuters male dogs within 2 miles

Inaugural Volunteer Opportunities, Sonny and Cher and Captain Kangaroo!

Still don't have tickets to an OFFICIAL INAUGURAL BALL? Worried that you won't get in to any of Oprah's shows she is taping at the Kennedy Center? Why not volunteer for the Presidential Inaugural Committee? Sign up here now.

To the person who anonymously emailed me taking me to task for presenting YouTube clips without explaining their deep meaning to me and my blog, I submit for you "Sonny and Cher Christmas Medley" featuring Chastity Bono, Bernadette Peters and Captain Kangaroo.

I am posting this because

1. I like Christmas
2. I like Sonny and Cher
3. The thought of Cher and Captain Kangaroo together makes me giggle
4. People like you who send anonymous emails are asses.

There I said "ass" on my blog and I wasn't discussing farm animals, a live action manager scene or TMI Thursday.

It's the spirit of the season!







UPDATE:

This just in: Colombian pop star Shakira will be performing at the inaugural celebration. JessiCub is ecstatic.

If It Is December We Need a Little Osmonds Now!

How is it possible that it is December when I still have all these flippin' pumpkins around the house? Look for an "Eat Me" post soon.

Regardless, if you ignore the piles of decaying orange orbs covering every free surface, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas here. While you were out Black Friday shopping, we were getting the tree and ornaments out of the basement. And by "we" I mean JessiCub my personal assistant, photographer and resident couch surfer.

On Saturday after a couple of trips to Home Rule to purchase the above ornaments, the tree was mostly decorated. And by "mostly" decorated I mean minus two of the above ornaments that were broken by me and demon bourbon but blamed on JessiCub. "You were walking too loudly!"

Oh I forgot to mention that before putting the tree up we had to switch the furniture between the living room and the dining room to provide optimal tree viewing space. And by "we" I mean JessiCub while I supervised and offered helpful suggestions like "Put the chair where I had it for Christmas 2006" or "I said move it a smidge not a smudge!" and "Watch out for that pumpkin!"

By the way, JessiCub has spent the last two days looking for a real job. Some people just can't handle the stress of the holidays!

Kicking off the holidys, how about some love for the Osmond Brothers singing, dancing and ice skating?

14th and U Farmers Market Sexy Secrets!

Despite my supposed slavish devotion to farmers markets, I haven't done a local agriculture post in weeks! Each Saturday at 9:00 am I am at the 14th and U Farmers market where I pick up veggies, fruit, bread, phone numbers and other miscellaneous items. This week I was accompanied by Herb of DC Photography Intern Sasha Fierce to explore the sexy secrets of this market.

Here's the first secret: often the pumpkins are half price during the last hour. Buy one for carvin', one for lovin', and one for eatin'.



























In ancient Rome chestnuts were once known as "Tree Oysters" and were thought to have male aphrodisiac effects. Buy the full crate! I don't judge, I just observe!



















It is no secret that the cabbage is the least sexy vegetable. What do cole slaw, sauerkraut, kimchi, borscht, dolma, holishkes and "bubble and squeak" have in common? Right, cabbage! And flatulence!

I bought 3 heads.


















Oh look, it's Dave the auditor!





















That nice Mrs. Peaches from Kuhn orchards always has some great recipes to be picked up along with the best fruit ever!

Apples are in full season and I got some sexy "Northern Spy" apples for a gingerbread cobbler.



















Kuhn's Orchards Apple Gingerbread Cobbler

4 medium apples, sliced
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup plus 3 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons cornstarch

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.Cook apples, sugar, lemon juice, cinnamon and 1 cup of water until apples are almost tender.

Combine 3 tablespoons water with cornstarch, stirring until all lumps are removed. Stir into apples and cook until thickened. Pour into an 8-inch baking dish. Add topping. Bake 35 minutes.

Topping
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup molasses
2 tablespoons oil
1 egg
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Beat together the milk, molasses, oil, egg and sugar. Measure remaining ingredients into sifter and sift into egg mixture. Stir only until combined and pour over apple mixture.

The sexy secret? Molasses. Say it slowly Mooool aaases!
14th and U Farmers Market
Saturdays 9:00 am to 1:00 pm

This week at the market (from the 14th and U weekly email from Robin Shuster)

Dear 14&U Fans


We have a new producer: Hareg Messert of Chez Hareg Pastries will be bringing her classic French cookies, biscotti, pannetoni, pound cakes-- and in the future, her cakes and pies! Hareg grew up in Ethiopia and trained in French speaking Senegal before she became a pastry chef at the Ritz Carlton in DC..... so she has both Italian and French traditions! Plus she makes Vegan cookies as well. She has a charming bakery-cafe on 9th Street called Chez Hareg which has been written up in the Washingtonian several times. Lots of FREE SAMPLES.


Don't let rain keep you away from the market or from meeting our newest producer! ;-) Bring your umbrellas, stay under the tents and you will be dry and happy. The tents are filled with great produce, salads, greens, pastured meats, fruits, breads, flowers, sweets, cheeses, honey, ciders and.... Halloween pumpkins. Garner still has summer produce -- yea for those Northern Neck farms-

News:

Beef at Truck Patch
Brussels Sprouts and Romanesco cauiliflower-broccoli at Truck Patch
Collards and LOTS of Peppers at Garner
Scallions at Mountain View
Fall flavors at Dolcezza
Classic French cookies, Italian biscotti, pannetoni and pound cake at Chez Hareg.
Vegan cookies at Chez Hareg
PLUS ALL THOSE HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS.....
Faucher Flower's last week for the season.

Mountain View: Always Pesticide -free Salad greens, bok choi, Chinese Cabbage, Red and Green tomatoes (think fried green tomatoes!), kale, Swiss Chard, Turnips, Beets, arugula, sweet potatoes, potatoes, scallions, mustard greens and eggs!


Truck Patch now has BEEF: steaks, ground, roasts, chuck, brisket, hamburger patties, flank, Grass -fed and finished on their own choice of grass or grain Brussels sprouts, romanesco cauliflower, cabbage, arugula, kale, spinach, mesclun, radishes, tomatoes, last of the vine picked heirlooms, a few peppers, red and white potatoes, broccoli, savoy and green cabbage (yes, you can buy just a half!) and that weird cone-shaped Romaneco cauliflower-broccoli. Looks like an Arcimboldo painting of people made of vegetable faces. Very flavorful. (Scientist have been fighting over whether it is a broccoli or a cauliflower.) Plus their pastured pork of all cuts and sausages and bacon.


Dolcezza: MORE THAN JUST A SUMMER DESSERT Some of their sorbets are savory....and many people use them as appetizers or serve them between courses. The Lemon Opal Basil is a perfect palate cleanser! Last week I fell in love with both the Pear and the Pumpkin Cinnamon flavors. The first is just like biting into a perfectly ripe bartlett and the second was a slice of a rich pumpkin pie. (With the added benefit that it has MUCH less fat and many fewer calories).


Keswick: Their 100% Jersey cow milk makes delicious yogurt, chocolate pudding and both aged raw milk and fresh pasteurized cheeses. Cheddars, vermeers and other aged raw milk cheeses. Lots of feta, quark, ricotta, too. Try some of Keswick blue cheese with a hamburger or steak! My favorite yogurt. Blue cheese and pear, apples and cheddar are cheese and fruit marriages!


Kuhn: Honeycrisp, mutsu, gala, empire, jonathan, elstar, cortland, jonagold, northern spy, and other apples along with tomatoes, lots of winter squash (Please please please try the Italian butternut!) , pumpkins of all sizes, shapes and colors, honey, chestnuts, onions, sweet peppers ,a few red raspberries, asian pears and bartletts. Cider made from elstar, jonamac, honeycrisp, gala.


McCleaf: Their cider is excellent for drinking cold or hot with mulling spices for our ( cooler evenings or cooking. Apples, UV filtered and Pasteurized cider, kale, squash, okra, tomatoes, peppers.

Mountain View: Always Pesticide -free Salad greens, bok choi, Chinese Cabbage, Red and Green tomatoes (think fried green tomatoes!), kale, Swiss Chard, Turnips, Beets, arugula, sweet potatoes, potatoes, scallions, mustard greens and eggs!


Truck Patch now has BEEF: steaks, ground, roasts, chuck, brisket, hamburger patties, flank, Grass -fed and finished on their own choice of grass or grain Brussels sprouts, romanesco cauliflower, cabbage, arugula, kale, spinach, mesclun, radishes, tomatoes, last of the vine picked heirlooms, a few peppers, red and white potatoes, broccoli, savoy and green cabbage (yes, you can buy just a half!) and that weird cone-shaped Romaneco cauliflower-broccoli. Looks like an Arcimboldo painting of people made of vegetable faces. Very flavorful. (Scientist have been fighting over whether it is a broccoli or a cauliflower.) Plus their pastured pork of all cuts and sausages and bacon.


Dolcezza: MORE THAN JUST A SUMMER DESSERT Some of their sorbets are savory....and many people use them as appetizers or serve them between courses. The Lemon Opal Basil is a perfect palate cleanser! Last week I fell in love with both the Pear and the Pumpkin Cinnamon flavors. The first is just like biting into a perfectly ripe bartlett and the second was a slice of a rich pumpkin pie. (With the added benefit that it has MUCH less fat and many fewer calories).


Keswick: Their 100% Jersey cow milk makes delicious yogurt, chocolate pudding and both aged raw milk and fresh pasteurized cheeses. Cheddars, vermeers and other aged raw milk cheeses. Lots of feta, quark, ricotta, too. Try some of Keswick blue cheese with a hamburger or steak! My favorite yogurt. Blue cheese and pear, apples and cheddar are cheese and fruit marriages!


Kuhn: Honeycrisp, mutsu, gala, empire, jonathan, elstar, cortland, jonagold, northern spy, and other apples along with tomatoes, lots of winter squash (Please please please try the Italian butternut!) , pumpkins of all sizes, shapes and colors, honey, chestnuts, onions, sweet peppers ,a few red raspberries, asian pears and bartletts. Cider made from elstar, jonamac, honeycrisp, gala.


McCleaf: Their cider is excellent for drinking cold or hot with mulling spices for our ( cooler evenings or cooking. Apples, UV filtered and Pasteurized cider, kale, squash, okra, tomatoes, peppers.

Garner: COLLARDS! And purple and yellow peppers as well. . Plus beets, spinach, arugula, mustard greens, turnip greens, leaf lettuce, Swiss Chard, baby turnips, lots of winter squash ( acorn, butternut, spaghetti, carnival, pretty green kabocha, red kuri. Neck pumpkins look like an elongated butternut squash but they sure taste like pumpkins and make great pies. Eggplants, summer squash, green and yellow beans, potatoes, eggplant, sweet potatoes....AND LOTS OF PUMPKINS FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN PARTIES!


Faucher Flowers: Elaine's last week with us this season because all her flowers are field grown. Look for those spectacular Dahlias, Mexican Sage, Eucalyptus.


Breadline: Baguettes, cookies, croissants, multi grain and whole grain breads, muffins, scones, sour doughs,fig bars.




See you Saturday --RAIN OR SHINE.


Robin and Luke

You Too Can Be "Joe the Plumber" in 15 Minutes or Less!

Let's face it, Wall Street Bankers and Washington Bureaucrats are so last month and plumbers are in right now! Who cares about your mastery of arcane financial derivatives? How are your plumbing skills? Are you tired of paying outrageous hourly rates to rich plumbers for what should be a simple fix? Follow these directions and you can fix a leaky faucet, stabilize the financial markets and become the "Joe the Plumber" of your block in 15 minutes or less!

First put on your plumber's coveralls. Coveralls prevent an outbreak of the dreaded plumber's crack when bending under the sink and guards against showing your bear market when running from the elite liberal media.

























Next turn off the water beneath the sink. Don't know which way to turn the shut off valve? Remember the phrase "Righty Tighty and Lefty Loosey!" You will want to make a turn to the right here to stop the irrational exuberance.


















As Herb Sr would say, don't start the job until you have the right tools! This is a plunger and although it would be helpful to unclog the credit crisis that is paralyzing markets it is the wrong tool for fixing a leak. You need a flat head screwdriver and perhaps a Phillips head screwdriver!

























Possum the cat is not a Phillips head screwdriver or a Mortgage Backed Derivative. Henry F. Phillips (1890 – 1958), a U.S. businessman from Portland, Oregon, first patented the Phillips head screw and screwdriver. Mr Phillips was the first to say "It is your patriotic duty to pay taxes." Later he lost his patent proving that you can faithfully pay taxes for years yet still get screwed.


























This is not a flat head screwdriver either (it is Lizzie who is technically a dog). Dogs are great as plumbers assistants especially if you need to test the potability of the water in a toilet bowl.

It is an unfortunate Urban Legend that the flat head screwdriver is named for American choreographer Erie Flatt.
























When you finally find the correct screwdrivers, you are ready to go where no man on your block has gone before!
























Pop off the top of the handle with your flat head screwdriver. Drill, baby drill! Loosen the screw inside with a "Lefty Loosey" until you can remove it.

























Now pry off the handle. Replace the washer with a new one you purchased at Home Depot or Lowes. What you haven't done that yet? You might want to add an hour (or four) to your 15 minutes. Actually washers come in packages of 10 so if you carefully slide one out and kept your receipt...

Put the handle back on and tighten the screw with some "Righty Tighty" action. Be careful! If you tighten to the right too much you could raise interest rates and stifle growth. Too little tightening can set interest rates too low and encourage inflation. Feeling the pressure?

Put the top of the handle back on.


























You are almost done! Go back under the sink and do some major "Lefty Loosey" to turn the water back on and be prepared for a sudden bailout. However, if you followed these steps your leak should be fixed and you will have your "Joe the Plumber" cred! CNN will have your number on speed dial, crowds will chant your name and your opinions will be sought on Collateralized Debt Obligations!

Enjoy your 15 minutes!


























Photography by JessiCub

DC Blogger Seeks (Im)Perfect Roommate for Blog Fodder!

With beloved personal assistant, photographer and intern JessiCub moving to Chicago, it is time to look for a new roommate to blog about. So should I stick with the standard Craigslist template or create a truthful ad that clearly states what any blogger desires in a roommate?

Wanted: Roommate to Share House with Self-Important DC Blogger!!!

You must have a fascinating job, verifiable references, good credit, eccentric friends and the ability to generate humorous quotations. Do you often find yourself involved in wacky or thought provoking situations? Are you a frequent witness of crime and/or a daily Metro bus rider? If so you may be the perfect roommate!

If you already have a nickname move to the front of the line! Otherwise be prepared to be assigned some unlikely name such as “Logan Idol”, “Petworth Princess” or “Cousin Chutney.”

Please be neat and clean or not mind having pictures of your mess posted for the entire interwebs to be seen.

Must be pet and irony friendly.

My house is one block from U Street Metro. Hotly covered bars, restaurants, and retail are within walking distance. Apply via email describing how you commuted to work on Bike to Work Day or by providing details of your last painful break-up to HerbofDC AT gmail dotcom.

Rent: $900 plus security deposit. Short term okay. No smokers or WebSense programmers.

"But I am Drunk"

Text messages via Verizon Wireless

Herb: I think I lost my keys and I am locked out.
JessiCub: At Halo
Herb: I am locked out!!!
JessiCub: On a date. Come get my key.
Herb: Then you won't have a key. I can drive you back.
JessiCub: But I am drunk. And I am off tomorrow.
Herb: I am locked out and I need to go to the bathroom!!!!
JessiCub. Okay but you are totally c**k blocking me!

The First Annual Target State Fair Opens in Columbia Heights!

Finally the long awaited DC USA Target State Fair has opened in Columbia Heights so personal assistant/photographer/food taster JessiCub and I decided to hit the grand opening of the midway for a day of fun!

First we followed the Munchie Map to find Corn Dogs. Everyone at the State Fair wants a Corn Dog even if it is a little early for National Corn Dog Day! The only thing better is a deep fried Twinkie but that booth must have been closed today.
























Next we hit some dope amusement park rides. No wimpy "Small World After All" or lame "Flying Tea Cup" rides here! I hold on for dear life on the "Screaming Cyclone Shopping Cart Roller Coaster" and I am whisked to the summit of Mt. Columbia. Really regretting that Corn Dog now!


















Rocketing back down to 14th St I notice I have some company on the "Screaming Cyclone Shopping Cart Roller Coaster." Someone has hurled into my cart. Hurled closet organizers. Cool! Hey maybe someone else queasy can cough up a Thomas O'Brien® Coverlet (chocolate).



















Knees shaking and still a little wobbly I wander over to the Entertainment Complex to take a break and catch a show. So who will be featured at the Target State Fair? Some classic group like The Oak Ridge Boys or comedian Yakov Smirnoff? Oh my god! High School Musical! A little bit of East High here in the CoHe! The Target State Fair is just too awesome for words! Anyway...What team? Wildcats!!! What team? Wildcats! WHAT TEAM? WILDCATS!!!




















Although the day is getting late I cannot leave without trying my luck at some Carnival games. Since the Pie Eating Contest is already over I enter the Bath Tissue Lifting Contest and astonish the crowd with my strength and dexterity. 24 rolls baby! Only $11.00! And I win a little goldfish in a bowl!


























Finally with my appetite temporarily sated, my arms full of fashionable bargains, my closet soon to be organized and the DC Treasury a little richer, we decide to say goodbye to the DC USA Target State Fair mascot, Mayor McSpeedy, and head for home. We will be back! After all, The Bed Bath and Beyond Mixed Martial Arts Challenge premieres at the DC USA Complex in another two weeks and I have been practicing my rear naked chokes.



















Well we try to get home. There is a typical DC traffic jam trying to exit. Sigh...

























Target DC
3100 14th St NW (Columbia Heights Metro)
Washington, DC 20010
(202) 777-3773
M-Fr: 8:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m.
Sa: 8:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m.
Su: 8:00 a.m.-9:00 p.m.

"There Are Big Tall Terrible Giants in the Sky"

On Presidents' Day, DC residents turned out in droves to say goodbye to long time Hains Point resident, "The Awakening" which is moving to National Harbor in Maryland February 20.

























There are Giants in the sky!
There are big tall terrible Giants
in the sky!
When you're way up high
And you look below
At the world you left
And the things you know,
Little more than a glance
Is enough to show
You just how small you are.























You're free to do
Whatever pleases you,
Exploring things you'd never dare
'Cause you don't care,
When suddenly there's
A big tall terrible Giant at the door,
























And you heart is lead
And your stomach stone
And you're really scared
Being all alone...
























And it's then that you miss
All the things you've known
And the world you've left
And the little you own-




















The fun is done.
You steal what you can and run.
And you scramble down
And you look below,
And the world you know
Begins to grow:




















And you think of all of the things you've seen,
And you wish that you could live in between,
And you're back again,
Only different than before,
After the sky.
There are Giants in the sky!
There are big tall terrible awesome scary wonderful
Giants in the sky!
























Credits
Photography: JessiCub
Text: Adapted from "Giants in the Sky" (Stephen Sondheim, "Into the Woods")

Scarlet's 37th Annual Bake Sale

Thanks to the work of the Junior Herb Youth Corp, I can now stay home in agoraphobic bliss and blog about events I didn't attend such as the 37th Annual Scarlet's Bake Sale held at the DC Eagle. The Scarlet Foundation Inc. has announced that proceeds from this year's event will benefit Food & Friends and Pets-DC.

Had I been there, I totally would have bid for this campcake.



















Pets-DC does wonderful work "Caring for the Companions Who Comfort Our Friends."


















A cake walk the "Partridge Family" never took.



















This is not your mother's church bazaar cake!























Everyone loves the iconic Armadillo cake!



















Another missed opportunity--I've always wanted to ask the First Lady of Leather what gown she will bequeath to the Smithsonian?

Generation Y Grocery Shopping

Saturday Morning

The Junior Herb Youth Corp was getting cranky.

"There's no food in the house. We need to go shopping."

OK!

The haul:

Cocoa Pebbles, Cheezits, Triscuits (family size), Wheat Thins, Golden Oreos, Salsa, Chicken Noodle Soup (3 cans), Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli ( 3 cans), Ice Cream Flavored Skittles, Fritos Cheese Dip, Doritos (Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch), Cheerios, Coke, Ginger Ale, and I guess the one "healthy choice" Hello Kitty Fruit Flavored Snacks.


Saturday Night

The Junior Herb Youth Corp:

"Can we go shopping tomorrow to get some snacks for the Super Bowl?"

The Thanksgiving Train to Grandma's

Nov. 22, 2007

U.S. Botanic Gardens, Washington, DC

Over the river and through the wood, to Grandma's house we go by train! (Click on pictures to enlarge)

We wind our way past quaint houses...

and grand palaces.

Deep in the recesses of the forest we spy the ruins of ancient civilizations.

While changing trains I bought Grandma some chocolates from a local vendor.

Off on Train #2! Yes we can, yes we can!

The rest of the trip must be on foot. I check the map for the route to Grandma's. GRANDMA!!!

I made a wrong turn! Lost in the desert! It's as dry as Aunt Mary's turkey here!


Now I'm in the jungle! Oh no! Which way to Grandma's house? We are missing the green bean casserole!

If only I had GPS in my hat! But I will not stop and ask for directions. No man in my family ever has!


Exotic flowers point the way back to the road!


Wait! That's it! There's Grandma's house and she is waiting for me on the porch! I smell her Kentucky Jam cake from here!


Here's Grandma with her cat Whitey.



The sun shines on a Happy Thanksgiving!




I gratefully drink my tea and reflect on my blessings.




Credits:

United States Botanic Gardens: Itself
Program: "A Midnight Clear" Nov 22-Jan 6, 2008.
Photography: JessiCub
Train Gardens and Sculptures:Paul Busse (Applied Imagination of Alexandria, Kentucky)
Grandma: Grandma HerbofDC
Whitey the Cat: Whitey