Monday, March 30, 2009

Planting My Hot, Hot Recession Garden!

It's never to early to start your Recession Garden--the Obama's have started their White House Garden and this weekend I started mine. Soon I will have fresh organic produce at a fraction of the grocery store cost, a win-win deal!

First I purchased the Jiffy All-In-One Greenhouse and three packets of seeds (Swiss Chard, Spinach, and Mesclun). (Mesclun is a mixture of various salad leaves, really...look it up!)

Next apply about 5 cups of water to make the pots grow. Water is the Cialis in the organic peat pot world.

Wait for pots to finish hydrostimulation. Muttering dirty plant talk like "Is that a pistil in your stamen or are you just glad to seed me?" does nothing to hurry the progress. Trust me on this.

When the pots are sufficiently engorged, plant two or three seeds in each and cover with a little soil for privacy.

Replace the lid, keep in a warm place and let things get a little steamy until the seeds begin to sprout.

(To Be Continued)

Bill so far:

Jiffy All-In-One Greenhouse $4.96
3 Packets of seeds 5.67
Hot dog outside Home Depot 1.50

Total expenses to date $12.13

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Cornerstone Cleaners Part 4: The Nightmare Ends

Last night after fighting my way through the throngs of Mainstream News Media covering this story, I was finally able to retrieve my five blue and white shirts that had been held hostage at Cornerstone Cleaners. Thanks to all of you for your kind words of support and encouragement during this difficult time.

Cornerstone will also be open today from 3:00 - 8:00pm for customers to pick up their clothing.

Meanwhile DCIST commentators discuss
who first reported this story.

14th and You weighs in on Main Stream media not crediting bloggers for breaking news.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Cornerstone Cleaners Part 3: The Mainsteam Media Joins the Cause

The mainstream media picks up on the campaign to help find my shirts:

Main-Guy, Bro (NBC Universal, WRC)

dateTue, Mar 24, 2009 at 4:48 PM
subjectDry Cleaner Closed

hide details 4:48 PM (13 hours ago) Reply


We're doing a story on the quick closure of the dry cleaner at 14th and U. Wanted to see if we might be able to talk to you tonight about your missing laundry.

Call me at any of the numbers below.

Bro Main-Guy
Assignment Editor
Washington, DC

online story at

Hung Out To Dry

Dry cleaner closes; customers can't get clothes

Updated 12:15 AM EDT, Wed, Mar 25, 2009

Another Washington-area dry cleaner could be facing a lawsuit soon.

Customers who have stopped by to pick up their freshly-pressed items at Cornerstone Cleaners on U Street Northwest have been greeted by locked doors.

Some who tried to call the owner were told their clothes might be at an off-site facility. Others only got a message saying the voice mailbox was full.

This week, a handwritten note appeared in the door. It says the cleaners has gone out of business. Customers are directed to the building's management company.

Landlords opened the building Monday to help customers reclaim some of their items. But many left empty-handed; their clothes supposedly at the off-site facility. But the landlords don't know where that is.

"I have 20 shirts in there," said former Cornerstone client Suleiman Vick. "That's [worth] like, $200."

Stay tuned to find out if any administrative law judges have pants missing.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Cornerstone Cleaners Where Are You?

Pardon this interruption to the usual political satire, essays on social mores of the 21st century and paeans to Pop Tarts that make up Herb of DC but I need to ask for your help to look for my shirts.

Yes, my shirts.

My five blue and white shirts that I dropped off at Cornerstone Cleaners on March 7, 2009. The five blue and white shirts that look just like the other ten blue and white shirts in my closet. I returned March 19, 20 and 21st to drop off more blue and white shirts and to pick up my clean and neatly pressed blue and white shirts and the establishment is closed with no sign indicating why it is closed or when it will reopen.

Cornerstone Cleaners
1947 14th St NW
Washington, DC 2009
(202) 234-0100
Corner of 14th and U

May also operate under the name of CS Cleaners, SC Cleaners or Next 2 Cleaners.

Does anyone have the scoop?

My three pairs of khaki cargo pants and two pairs of dark green cargo pants are quite concerned. I haven't told the Dockers yet (gray, two pairs).

Update March 24:

A sign is posted

Update March 25:

mainstream media picks up the cause

Update March 26:


Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

Please re-check the date on the calendar and adjust the temperature accordingly.



P.S. Please accept this request with all due respect and don't go all Mother Naturey on my shivering ass.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Signs of Desperate Times

1. The White House is planting an organic vegetable garden (a/k/a "Victory Garden"). Insert "shovel ready project" jokes here.

2. Someone stole today one of the display sandwiches outside of the Big Humanitarian Non-Profit cafeteria. One very cold turkey reuben is missing.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St Patrick's Day Fail: Eating Chocolate Kennedys

For St Patrick’s Day today, the rhymes with MARAMARK-run cafeteria at the Big Humanitarian Non-Profit is passing out Kennedy Half Dollar Gold Foil Chocolate Coins. Yep that’s right, no magically delicious gay leprechauns, marshmallow shamrocks or green gummy snakes but images in chocolate of the assassinated 35th president, John F. Kennedy.

Maybe it's a generational thing; when I was wee child the only approved images of the first Irish president were iconic pictures of him on the mantle between photos of Jackie and the Pope and we were neither Catholic nor Irish.

So, uh Happy St. Patrick's Day, MARAMARK. Enjoy taking a bite out of your chocolate Kennedys. I'll stick with my marzipan unicorns and green beer!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Not Quite Back in the Driver's Seat...

Yep I'm back. Been back a while now. I have stories to tell about Senior Citizenland, changes at work, sickness, Southwest Airlines, Roller Derby, the drag queen transgendered clerk at CVS, triple wides, Facebook and the challenges of doing business with family.

And that's the problem. I have stories to TELL. I don't feel like writing, Come over...pop open a beer and I will tell you how I have felt lately