Thank you for sneaking out last night since I think it did save us from an embarrassing "Cops" style eviction. Hopefully you can find another furnished room to trash one block from the U Street Metro soon for $300 a month. It's clearly your entitlement, right? I am sure your new landlord will appreciate your "jumpsuit as window treatment" idea. HGTV anyone?
The dogs already miss you. They will have to find another source for old pizza crusts and Taco Bell wrappers that you continually left on the floor for the entire 10 week period you lived here.
I am not sure why you left behind so much clothing, DVDs and books but GoodWill will have a nice donation in your name this weekend! Thanks!
P.S. Glad you took the "Teenage Vixen" porn with you. See you on "To Catch a Predator" some day.