1. I know it's none of my business but I would really like for there to be a little White House baby in 2009. I'm not above starting internet rumors to make it happen. Barry and Michelle?
2. Some complain about blogs that only provide links without comments. Here is the link to the latest internet sensation, the Shiba Inu Puppy Cam. My comment: Lucy and Lizzie, you can be replaced!
3. Due to my blog posts or comments, I have been contacted twice in the past month by Mainstream Media to participate in their stories. This is sad.
4. Sarah Plain reminds me of one of those American Idol contestants we laugh at who never makes the finals yet shows up up each new season even more determined. Instead of taking voice lessons or studying music theory she spends the off season memorizing a new song, one more intense and that can be sung at a higher volume than all previous ones. Through sheer determination, tenacity and personality, she dares us to overlook her lack of talent and reminds us over and over that she and she alone deserves to be the next American Idol.
5. I like lemons. I like lemon drops. If you want to smell like a lemon drop use this body scrub. Yum!
6. Those who are saying blogging is dead haven't seen my blog. Well haven't seen my blog in 2009 when I have all those great blog posts about that White House baby.
We all have seen the footage of the crowds celebrating Obama's victory but what happened the moment it was announced? I found on CNN.com today an article about this amazing blog dedicated to showing clips of crowd reactions the instant the Obama victory was announced on CNN. I have to admit I got a little teary eyed at watching and listening to the young and enthusiastic crowd at Georgetown University.
You will hear the crowds begin the countdown, ready to cheer when the countdown clock hits "1" except this time CNN follows that with calling the race for Obama.
What I find stunning is that on some of the clips you can hear the moment it registers with them--the cheering for the countdown switches to screams of joy at the victory!
The below is from an email from a 24 year old acquaintance, I didn't ask for permission to print this but I think it will be okay.
I am still so damn happy, I want to cheer and cry every minute of the day. Obama's victory means so much to me. I feel inspired. I think back to when I was in 7th grade and we had to discuss in groups what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said I wanted to be President and the boy next to me said I would never be president since my parents weren't white or born in America. I told him that was bullsh*t, because in America you can be anything.
I have never been this proud to be an American. And I hope the feeling never wears off.
Herb again...
I know most of my readers read the Washington Post but if you missed this linked article about a retired White House butler, take some time and read it. It is a long article but worth it and if you don't tear up a little at the ending, you truly have no heart.
"Obama's starting to name his cabinet picks, and the speculation is swirling about who the top contenders might be. Everyone's ranking them by their qualifications and their previous work with Obama blah blah blah, but it's about time someone got around to figuring out which ones are the hottest. After a quick glance, we're thinking this cabinet should be at least as smoking as Clinton's though not quite as hot as Carter's (mmm, Muskie!). After the jump, we rate them one by one. If this cabinet's rockin', don't come knockin'!"
My weekly appointment with Skippy the Licensed Therapist pretty much follows the same script.
We discuss:
1. My Tenant who pays rent yet never takes out trash 2. The Other Tenant who sleeps on a couch in exchange for walking the dogs and light chores 3. The unwalked dogs, incomplete light chores and piles of trash bags left in the kitchen 4. My deep and angst ridden blog and why I don’t give Skippy the URL 5. Skippy’s kitchen renovation 6. My boss 7. Skippy’s upcoming vacation 8. The Big Humanitarian Non-Profit 9. Skippy’s kitchen renovation 10. 1993 11. “The View” 12. Skippy 13. Moral deficiencies of mutual acquaintances 14. Skippy’s partner 15. My leaky roof 16. Skippy's kitchen renovation 17. My alleged "Problem" 18. Wrap-up and My Pledge to Try Harder 19. The status of my out-of-network reimbursement from Don’tCareFirstBlueCrossBlueShield.
This week I switched it up by revealing how depressed I am now that the election is over.
D-E-P-R-E-S-S-E-D
Massive soul crushing "don't bother to take the little blue pill and am I too old to go Goth?" depression.
I thought I would be happy now since in general I am pleased with the election results. Plus:
No more coming home to hear Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann blathering about who has the bigger man crush for Barack on the All Obama Network.
No more channel surfing past Bill O’Reilly screaming about socialism, Keith Olbermann or the ladies of "The View."
No more pretending at the Big Humanitarian Non-Profit gym that I am listening to my non-functioning iPod when I am really watching the ladies of “The View” on the overhead TV go at it gato a gato.
"So Skippy" I asked, "Why am I so blue?"
I looked up and there he was with his head nodding up and down and lightly snoring.
The one-upmanship has already begun at work on who endured the greatest hardship today attempting to vote.
“I had to wait for TWO hours in Dupont and then the machines broke down and I had to vote using a paper ballot. PAPER! It was like I was in a Third World country or Florida or something.”
“In Ashburn the line stretched all the way to Sterling. And it was snowing! Unlike when giving blood you don’t get a cookie and orange juice afterwards, who knew? Fortunately I had brought some Necco wafers to share.”
“I stood in six inches of raw sewage in Rossyln for three hours surrounded by a Barber Shop quartet but I voted!”
“Pink Crocs are banned at polling places in Virginia so I voted barefoot despite the broken glass and rusty nails strewn about. Oh and there were clouds of angry killer bees.”
“A roving gang of Elisabeth Hasselbeck impersonators in Bethesda saw my Obama button and tried to block my entrance to the polling place but I kicked their skinny a**es all the way from here to Starbucks.”
“Hungry, hungry pythons were crawling across the floor at my polling place in Arlington but I found that offering up Grandma (who was going to vote for Sad Grandpa anyway) was enough to distract them so I could vote. I feel better knowing she was delicious right to the end.”
Okay, people I get it. You made sacrifices to vote. It isn’t supposed to be easy. Democracy isn’t pretty. So shut up now and get back to work.
This election campaign has lasted almost as long as my promises to start working out again "soon!"
Don't forget to vote and if things work out right for your candidate, you may be making desperate pleas to snag tickets to one of the Inaugural Balls.
My endorsements?
Not McCain. I liked the old McCain, the Maverick. I'm not sure where this Sad Angry Grandpa came from. Plus he still needs to explain to me why he is collecting Social Security along with his other pensions and his Senate salary. Country First? Rich wife?
Local:
NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! NOT MICHAEL "ROBOCALL" BROWN! Maybe not Carol "I'm Only Going to Robocall You Once" Schwartz also. Carol, it was cute having your adult daughters call us tonight but it is still a second Robocall for YOU! I may be in a more forgiving mood tomorrow when the predicted rain will remind me of the remarkable durability, height and consistency of your hairdo over the years.
Sarah Palin? What Magic Comedy Fairy dropped you into our midst. I LOVE YOU! I disagree with most of your politics but come on folks, can't we let her live in the VP mansion anyway? "Plugs" Biden can ride his beloved Amtrak to work every day and be the "real" VP. Think how fun it would be to have the Palinsbaggin' their own groceries at Shoppers Food Warehouse or snow machinin' down Massachusetts Avenue. Huntin'? What about all those deer in Rock Creek Park?
November 4! It is here! Do your civic duty folks!
This Could Be You: Herb of DC at the 1993 Clinton Inaugural Ball
I learned the hard way that the extra large wrist corsage was a big no-no at crowded Inaugural Balls. Hers was oversize also.
Clinton plays the saxophone while some lady in the crowd fingers him.
On SNL last night John McCain and Tina Fey's Sarah Palin hawked their message on QVC and at the end were joined by Cindy McCain to sell fine gold.
FEINGOLD!
HA!
Will Sarah Palin become Ms. Fey's Fonzie? I have to admit when I was watching "30 Rock" this week I kept waiting for her to do Palin. I understand how career limiting playing a breakout character can be; sometimes when I am visiting Indiana I will run into old friends who only want to rehash my groundbreaking interpretation as the Scarecrow in the Western Heights grade school production of the "The Wizard of Oz." Who knew I would be the first (and perhaps last) to play the role as a very fashionable and sarcastic Scarecrow?
People back there also still insist on calling me "Herbie" but that is a very painful and heartbreaking future post.
The brilliant actress, singer, writer and filmmaker Leslie Kritzer imitates celebrities ranging from Rachel Zoe to Liza Minnelli to Riff-Tina in this short video. What you don't know Riff-Tina? Where have you been?
This is probably last month's viral email but it is pretty funny and you have to admire their use of technology!
Don't forget to vote! Customize this to send to your friends!
(I'm discovering this doesn't always display correctly with Internet Explorer--try Firefox!!!)
Update 11/01/08:
Dear CNNBC viewer,
Wow. Thanks to people like you, this nonvoter video has now been sent to over 11 million friends. It's going out to more than 30 new people per second. Research shows that this kind of social "nudging" is extremely effective. So we're aiming to reach 15 million people before Election Day—only a few days away. Can you help by sending this video to a few more friends today?
http://www.cnnbcvideo.com/taf.html
Studies show that by far the best way to get people out to vote is to convince them that (a) everyone else is voting, and (b) everyone will know if they don't vote. This video does both—with a smile (or smirk, in some cases). It takes just seconds to send, and it could be the thing that actually pushes a friend of yours to the polls.
Click here to send more personalized videos to your friends:
Let's face it, Wall Street Bankers and Washington Bureaucrats are so last month and plumbers are in right now! Who cares about your mastery of arcane financial derivatives? How are your plumbing skills? Are you tired of paying outrageous hourly rates to rich plumbers for what should be a simple fix? Follow these directions and you can fix a leaky faucet, stabilize the financial markets and become the "Joe the Plumber" of your block in 15 minutes or less!
First put on your plumber's coveralls. Coveralls prevent an outbreak of the dreaded plumber's crack when bending under the sink and guards against showing your bear market when running from the elite liberal media.
Next turn off the water beneath the sink. Don't know which way to turn the shut off valve? Remember the phrase "RightyTighty and Lefty Loosey!" You will want to make a turn to the right here to stop the irrational exuberance.
As Herb Sr would say, don't start the job until you have the right tools! This is a plunger and although it would be helpful to unclog the credit crisis that is paralyzing markets it is the wrong tool for fixing a leak. You need a flat head screwdriver and perhaps a Phillips head screwdriver!
Possum the cat is not a Phillips head screwdriver or a Mortgage Backed Derivative. Henry F. Phillips (1890 – 1958), a U.S. businessman from Portland, Oregon, first patented the Phillips head screw and screwdriver. Mr Phillips was the first to say "It is your patriotic duty to pay taxes." Later he lost his patent proving that you can faithfully pay taxes for years yet still get screwed.
This is not a flat head screwdriver either (it is Lizzie who is technically a dog). Dogs are great as plumbers assistants especially if you need to test the potability of the water in a toilet bowl.
It is an unfortunate Urban Legend that the flat head screwdriver is named for American choreographer Erie Flatt.
When you finally find the correct screwdrivers, you are ready to go where no man on your block has gone before!
Pop off the top of the handle with your flat head screwdriver. Drill, baby drill! Loosen the screw inside with a "Lefty Loosey" until you can remove it.
Now pry off the handle.Replace the washer with a new one you purchased at Home Depot or Lowes. What you haven't done that yet? You might want to add an hour (or four) to your 15 minutes. Actually washers come in packages of 10 so if you carefully slide one out and kept your receipt...
Put the handle back on and tighten the screw with some "RightyTighty" action. Be careful! If you tighten to the right too much you could raise interest rates and stifle growth. Too little tightening can set interest rates too low and encourage inflation. Feeling the pressure?
Put the top of the handle back on.
You are almost done! Go back under the sink and do some major "Lefty Loosey" to turn the water back on and be prepared for a sudden bailout. However, if you followed these steps your leak should be fixed and you will have your "Joe the Plumber" cred! CNN will have your number on speed dial, crowds will chant your name and your opinions will be sought on Collateralized Debt Obligations!
I don't think this link is in conflict with my call for both sides to tone it down; there are items here to entertain both camps! As far as I am concerned if there is oil on the South Lawn then drill baby, drill!
Roll your mouse around and/or click. You can spend hours at work playing with this (not that I did).
What’s up with all the angry booing and name calling at the mention of the opposition during speeches and rallies for the 2008 Elections? Have you ever looked at your face in the mirror while you boo? As the “Sage of Central Florida” Herb Sr would say, “How would you like it if your face froze like that?“
I guess my aversion to booing goes back to high school in Southern Indiana. We were not allowed to boo. Nice people didn’t boo; it wasn’t very sportsmanlike. Schools that allowed booing were probably schools where students cheated on their SATS, drove over the speed limit, took French classes and smoked in the cafeteria. Boo friendly schools most likely did not host large chapters of the Future Farmers of America, have marching bands the size of Argentina or take coveted Senior Class trips to “Six Flags Over St Louis.”
If booing did break out say, during a football game, and if it did it would have to be for a serious infraction like arch rival Central whipping out an actual shotgun as part of the shotgun offense or the ankle bracelet wearing Mater Dei cheerleaders racing around the field perched on the back of a John Deere tractor and it was NOT Homecoming, the booing would quickly be squelched by one stern look from Mr. Kukendall or Mr. Henry. You especially feared Mr. Henry since this would be followed up with lengthy close range lecture during your Driver’s Ed practice and pray to God it wasn’t the session following the cafeteria lunch during “Salute to Sauerkraut” week.
When I was in college at Indiana University, booing was allowed within moderation but name calling was prohibited. In one famous incident, basketball coach Bobby Knight grabbed a microphone, stopped the game and berated us students for cursing. Although his own behavior and language was sometimes suspect he was the adult in the room so we accepted the admonition and obeyed.
So where are the adults in the room at these rallies? Why are the candidates allowing this booing, braying and shameful name calling? What are we going to do with all this anger and hate after November 4 that the candidates and their surrogates have stirred up?
Most importantly, what if your face DID freeze like that?
I admit I’ve made a few modest jokes about the campaign and especially enjoyed some fun at the expense of a certain VP candidate. But I don’t hate anyone, wish them ill will, hint at bogus terrorist ties, lie about their positions, call anyone a b*tch, hope they get cancer, die in a plane crash, pray to my God that my opposition does poorly in a debate or attempt to frighten people by the use of a middle name we were unfamiliar with many years ago in Indiana.
So what do we need to do to get some adults in the room? Since Coach Knight and Mr. Henry can’t be there at every rally, maybe the four at the top of the tickets would be a good place to start?
Let this be your warning McCain, Obama, Palin and Biden! If I don’t see immediate improvement in behavior at your rallies, I may have to pull Herb Sr out of retirement. He has plenty of soap, is a retired school principal and isn’t afraid to wash out a few mouths in the name of patriotism, unity, and good sportsmanship.
