Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Okay So You Stood in Line for Eight Hours to Vote Today! Now Shut Up and Get Back to Work!

The one-upmanship has already begun at work on who endured the greatest hardship today attempting to vote.

“I had to wait for TWO hours in Dupont and then the machines broke down and I had to vote using a paper ballot. PAPER! It was like I was in a Third World country or Florida or something.”

“In Ashburn the line stretched all the way to Sterling. And it was snowing! Unlike when giving blood you don’t get a cookie and orange juice afterwards, who knew? Fortunately I had brought some Necco wafers to share.”

“I stood in six inches of raw sewage in Rossyln for three hours surrounded by a Barber Shop quartet but I voted!”

Pink Crocs are banned at polling places in Virginia so I voted barefoot despite the broken glass and rusty nails strewn about. Oh and there were clouds of angry killer bees.”

“A roving gang of Elisabeth Hasselbeck impersonators in Bethesda saw my Obama button and tried to block my entrance to the polling place but I kicked their skinny a**es all the way from here to Starbucks.”

“Hungry, hungry pythons were crawling across the floor at my polling place in Arlington but I found that offering up Grandma (who was going to vote for Sad Grandpa anyway) was enough to distract them so I could vote. I feel better knowing she was delicious right to the end.”

Okay, people I get it. You made sacrifices to vote. It isn’t supposed to be easy. Democracy isn’t pretty. So shut up now and get back to work.




3 comments:

lacochran said...

Not barber shop quartet!! :)

How about reverse gloating?

I teleworked, breezed in at 10 minutes to 2 and breezed out at 5 minutes to 2. Easy peasy.

Katherine said...

Luckily I had a sympathetic soccer mom at my location, and she loved my Pink Crocs. In fact, she let me vote as a form of Croc Solidarity. *wink*

Gilahi said...

It took me longer to put my laptop into the trunk of my car than it did for me to vote.

Democracy is easy! Easier than computers, anyway.