Sometimes I miss my blog, especially around the holidays when I turn to the Brady Bunch for familial love, companionship and coordinated outfits.
What could be more Americana, 4th of July and apple pie than the Brady Bunch singing, dancing and synchronized swimming to "Yankee Doodle Dandy?"
Have a Happy and Healthy 4th, y'all*.
*Y'all includes the 4 or 5 people who still come to this blog daily from Google searches of "Why do people shuck corn in the store?", "Hookers on Tape" or "DC brothels."
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Ten Most Depressing Christmas Songs
From Buzzfeed The 10 Most Depressing Christmas Songs
Christmas Time Is Here
Pass out the kiddie Zoloft
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Hide the good liquor and the "dolls"
That Was The Worst Christmas Ever
The title says it all
Last Christmas
If only
Hard Candy Christmas
Needs more Dolly
Blue Christmas
Unfortunately I only "hear" Herb Sr imitating Elvis singing this. Technically child abuse.
The Christmas Shoes
Depressing and loathsome
Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk this Christmas)
Admittedly the best Christmas song title ever
If We Make It Through December
Never heard of it but good luck.
Maybe I counted wrong--blame my depression!
Christmas Time Is Here
Pass out the kiddie Zoloft
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Hide the good liquor and the "dolls"
That Was The Worst Christmas Ever
The title says it all
Last Christmas
If only
Hard Candy Christmas
Needs more Dolly
Blue Christmas
Unfortunately I only "hear" Herb Sr imitating Elvis singing this. Technically child abuse.
The Christmas Shoes
Depressing and loathsome
Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk this Christmas)
Admittedly the best Christmas song title ever
If We Make It Through December
Never heard of it but good luck.
Maybe I counted wrong--blame my depression!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thankful for Sexy Pilgrims!
The world's first R&B pilgrim singing "The Sexy Pilgrim."
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
"The 2009 Veterans Day Challenge" or "Where the Heck Is the War of 1812 Memorial?"
A bunch of Cheetos eatin', mouth breathin' history and web nerds joined me to see if we can visit memorials to all branches of the military and all the major US wars in three hours or less on Veterans Day. Around 20 stops are planned, can we do it?
7:03 AM We are off into the rainy and gray day with visits to the African American Civil War Memorial, John A. Logan statue (Civil and Mexican-American Wars) and General Winfield Scott (Mexican-American War).
7:30 AM United States Navy Memorial. Each spring sailors from the U.S. Navy's Ceremonial Guard pour water from the Seven Seas and the Great Lakes into the surrounding fountains "charging" them to life and ushering in the spring season. We also check out tributes to the Coast Guard Memorial and the Women of the Navy.
First fight of the day-- Jackson Square is in New Orleans. In Lafayette Park in DC is an equestrian statue of General Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans. My confusion is understandable but calling my cell phone I left at home is not going to help me find your shivering, cold asses on 17th Street. Many valuable minutes lost here.
Here's the statue of Revolutionary War hero Lafayette. Or it might be General Jackson. Or a Jackson Brother (Tito).
The First Division Memorial (Army) on 17th St is closed off due to construction. There is a Desert Storm Memorial in there somewhere so we take credit for finding it anyway. Is it just me or is it that every where we go a Secret Service patrol car pops up?
The Red Cross, the WW II Memorial and The District of Columbia First World War Memorials get a drive-by since it is almost 8:30. The Secret Service follows us to World War II but turns around shortly thereafter.
The Vietnam Veterans Memorial reflects the day.
Often the Korean War is referred to as the "Forgotten War." We didn't forget it but due to some bad navigation walked south instead of north (or west instead of east?). Taking the pictures from a distance adds to the poignancy and saves my failing feet from another march across the Mall.
Check the time and it is 9:23 am. I'm hungry but we need to dash to across the river (via the Memorial Bridge symbolizing the reunification of the North and South after the Civil War yadda yadda yadda) to find the Navy-Merchant Marine Memorial on the GW Parkway. Unfortunately it too is surrounded by construction barriers so naturally we end up driving around the Reagan National Airport complex for a good ten minutes. Bitter accusations and hate speech may have occurred at this point.
Arlington Cemetery. All sorts of memorial stuff stuff found.
The Women in Military Service for America Memorial is located at the Ceremonial Entrance to Arlington National Cemetery and honors all women who have served in the United States Armed Forces.
10:00 AM and we still have Iwo Jima, the Air Force Memorial and the War of 1812 Memorial.
10:35.AM We are done. Twenty stops and 256 pictures! Three hours thirty minutes! Not bad! But wait, we still have the War of 1812 Memorial which is...uhm...well here is a shot of the Francis Scott Key Bridge.
This post is dedicated to Air Force veteran Herb Sr (who turns 80 in December!) and follows his tourist philosophy of "Quick kids, take a picture and get back in the car! We can look at 'em when we get home!"
7:03 AM We are off into the rainy and gray day with visits to the African American Civil War Memorial, John A. Logan statue (Civil and Mexican-American Wars) and General Winfield Scott (Mexican-American War).
7:30 AM United States Navy Memorial. Each spring sailors from the U.S. Navy's Ceremonial Guard pour water from the Seven Seas and the Great Lakes into the surrounding fountains "charging" them to life and ushering in the spring season. We also check out tributes to the Coast Guard Memorial and the Women of the Navy.
First fight of the day-- Jackson Square is in New Orleans. In Lafayette Park in DC is an equestrian statue of General Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans. My confusion is understandable but calling my cell phone I left at home is not going to help me find your shivering, cold asses on 17th Street. Many valuable minutes lost here.
Here's the statue of Revolutionary War hero Lafayette. Or it might be General Jackson. Or a Jackson Brother (Tito).
The First Division Memorial (Army) on 17th St is closed off due to construction. There is a Desert Storm Memorial in there somewhere so we take credit for finding it anyway. Is it just me or is it that every where we go a Secret Service patrol car pops up?
The Red Cross, the WW II Memorial and The District of Columbia First World War Memorials get a drive-by since it is almost 8:30. The Secret Service follows us to World War II but turns around shortly thereafter.
The Vietnam Veterans Memorial reflects the day.
Often the Korean War is referred to as the "Forgotten War." We didn't forget it but due to some bad navigation walked south instead of north (or west instead of east?). Taking the pictures from a distance adds to the poignancy and saves my failing feet from another march across the Mall.
Check the time and it is 9:23 am. I'm hungry but we need to dash to across the river (via the Memorial Bridge symbolizing the reunification of the North and South after the Civil War yadda yadda yadda) to find the Navy-Merchant Marine Memorial on the GW Parkway. Unfortunately it too is surrounded by construction barriers so naturally we end up driving around the Reagan National Airport complex for a good ten minutes. Bitter accusations and hate speech may have occurred at this point.
Arlington Cemetery. All sorts of memorial stuff stuff found.
The Women in Military Service for America Memorial is located at the Ceremonial Entrance to Arlington National Cemetery and honors all women who have served in the United States Armed Forces.
10:00 AM and we still have Iwo Jima, the Air Force Memorial and the War of 1812 Memorial.
10:35.AM We are done. Twenty stops and 256 pictures! Three hours thirty minutes! Not bad! But wait, we still have the War of 1812 Memorial which is...uhm...well here is a shot of the Francis Scott Key Bridge.
This post is dedicated to Air Force veteran Herb Sr (who turns 80 in December!) and follows his tourist philosophy of "Quick kids, take a picture and get back in the car! We can look at 'em when we get home!"
Monday, May 25, 2009
Buffalo Thunder in Shaw 2009
Each year on the Sunday before Memorial Day, hundreds of members of Buffalo Soldiers and Troopers Motorcycle Clubs from around the country rally at the African American Civil War Memorial in Shaw to lay a wreath at the Memorial's Wall of Honor which lists the names of 200,000 + African American troops who served in the Civil War. The clubs are named in honor of the legacy of the Buffalo Soldiers, which were comprised of former slaves, freemen and Black Civil War soldiers, who first served in the U.S. Army during peacetime after the Civil War.
A couple of hours of inspiring speakers, pageantry, music, costumes and house-shaking noise from hundreds of motorbikes, so what was missing? Well mostly the neighborhood. Sadly I was one of a handful non-club members present. The rally was held at the plaza at top of one of the U Street Metro exits but still the reaction of people arriving to the surface was a blase "Oh, look hundreds of bikers. Now which way to Ben's?"
So I represented. And darn well!
This rally appropriately takes place in Shaw since the neighborhood is named for Robert Gould Shaw (October 10, 1837-July 1863) who was the commander of the all African American 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry which entered the Civil War in 1863. Col. Shaw and his troops were the subject of 1989 film "Glory." After the cermony the Buffalo soldiers queued up and rode to the Mall to join the better known "Rolling Thunder: Ride for Freedom."
One of the costumed ushers
The Buffalo Soldiers arrive!
Most are wearing the black and gold club colors
Bikes lined up on Vermont during the ceremony
The laying of the Wreath Ceremony
After the ceremony, the bikers head to the Mall.
Copy of the General Order 143 "Establishing the U.S. Colored Troops" that was handed out to the crowd: (click to enlarge)
A couple of hours of inspiring speakers, pageantry, music, costumes and house-shaking noise from hundreds of motorbikes, so what was missing? Well mostly the neighborhood. Sadly I was one of a handful non-club members present. The rally was held at the plaza at top of one of the U Street Metro exits but still the reaction of people arriving to the surface was a blase "Oh, look hundreds of bikers. Now which way to Ben's?"
So I represented. And darn well!
This rally appropriately takes place in Shaw since the neighborhood is named for Robert Gould Shaw (October 10, 1837-July 1863) who was the commander of the all African American 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry which entered the Civil War in 1863. Col. Shaw and his troops were the subject of 1989 film "Glory." After the cermony the Buffalo soldiers queued up and rode to the Mall to join the better known "Rolling Thunder: Ride for Freedom."
One of the costumed ushers
The Buffalo Soldiers arrive!
Most are wearing the black and gold club colors
Bikes lined up on Vermont during the ceremony
The laying of the Wreath Ceremony
After the ceremony, the bikers head to the Mall.
Copy of the General Order 143 "Establishing the U.S. Colored Troops" that was handed out to the crowd: (click to enlarge)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
I was going to write something about Memorial Day and Logan Circle but suddenly remembered, I did that last year.
Oh Ativan, the tricks you play on my mind!
I'll be enjoying my staycation and will no doubt, think about blogging about something but probably will just put it on Facebook.
Have a safe and fun long weekend!
Oh Ativan, the tricks you play on my mind!
I'll be enjoying my staycation and will no doubt, think about blogging about something but probably will just put it on Facebook.
Have a safe and fun long weekend!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Sorry But I've Been Busy
Been busy cooking and doing other stuff...
And for the 20% of my blog traffic looking for information on High School Musical 4 and 5, here's an update:
And for the 20% of my blog traffic looking for information on High School Musical 4 and 5, here's an update:
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St Patrick's Day Fail: Eating Chocolate Kennedys
For St Patrick’s Day today, the rhymes with MARAMARK-run cafeteria at the Big Humanitarian Non-Profit is passing out Kennedy Half Dollar Gold Foil Chocolate Coins. Yep that’s right, no magically delicious gay leprechauns, marshmallow shamrocks or green gummy snakes but images in chocolate of the assassinated 35th president, John F. Kennedy.
Maybe it's a generational thing; when I was wee child the only approved images of the first Irish president were iconic pictures of him on the mantle between photos of Jackie and the Pope and we were neither Catholic nor Irish.
So, uh Happy St. Patrick's Day, MARAMARK. Enjoy taking a bite out of your chocolate Kennedys. I'll stick with my marzipan unicorns and green beer!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Smokin' DC, Advice for Valentines Day and the Wedding Bell Blues!
Shades of 1814, DC may burn down today! From an email message to me from Alert DC...
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A FIRE WEATHER WATCH FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA FROM 10 AM EST THIS MORNING THROUGH THIS EVENING. A FIRE WEATHER WATCH MEANS THAT CRITICAL FIRE WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE FORECAST TO OCCUR.
Sent by DC HSEMA to e-mail, pagers, cell phones....
Victoria's Secret models give advice for Valentines Day ("The bigger the box, the better!)
I don't have the "Wedding Bell Blues" but I do still love the 5th Dimension.
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A FIRE WEATHER WATCH FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA FROM 10 AM EST THIS MORNING THROUGH THIS EVENING. A FIRE WEATHER WATCH MEANS THAT CRITICAL FIRE WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE FORECAST TO OCCUR.
Sent by DC HSEMA to e-mail, pagers, cell phones....
Victoria's Secret models give advice for Valentines Day ("The bigger the box, the better!)
I don't have the "Wedding Bell Blues" but I do still love the 5th Dimension.
Friday, February 6, 2009
25 Randomly Recycled Things About My Feet
About that 25 Random Things Meme...
Wait? Haven't I already done this a few times over the years? I just need to add a few more feet facts...
25 Randomly Recycled Things About My Feet
1. On Mother's Day when I was 5, my sister cut the tip of my right big toe off.
One of my strongest memories of that bloody day was being upset that Herb Sr was running red lights on the way to the emergency room. After I was stitched up we stopped at a pet store on Washington Avenue and looked at puppies.
"Can I have a puppy?" I whimpered.
"No dear" my mother Pug answered, "A puppy would lick your toe and it will get all infected and fall off."
2. I am right-handed yet left-footed.
3. When I graduated college my shoe size was 10.5 N. My shoe size today is 12 M.
4. I can't tie shoe laces
When Herb Sr and Pug tried to teach me to tie my shoes for some reason I couldn't grasp the conventional method. Instead I learned a "special" method reserved for "exceptional" children.
It goes something like this:
Wait? Haven't I already done this a few times over the years? I just need to add a few more feet facts...
25 Randomly Recycled Things About My Feet
1. On Mother's Day when I was 5, my sister cut the tip of my right big toe off.
One of my strongest memories of that bloody day was being upset that Herb Sr was running red lights on the way to the emergency room. After I was stitched up we stopped at a pet store on Washington Avenue and looked at puppies.
"Can I have a puppy?" I whimpered.
"No dear" my mother Pug answered, "A puppy would lick your toe and it will get all infected and fall off."
2. I am right-handed yet left-footed.
3. When I graduated college my shoe size was 10.5 N. My shoe size today is 12 M.
4. I can't tie shoe laces
When Herb Sr and Pug tried to teach me to tie my shoes for some reason I couldn't grasp the conventional method. Instead I learned a "special" method reserved for "exceptional" children.
It goes something like this:
- Make two bunny whiskers and cross them
- Make two bunny ears and cross them
- Poke the bunny's eyes out and set on fire along with your sister's Barbie doll
Okay maybe step 3 technically happened in High School but even today I can't really tie my shoes correctly. My left shoe especially comes untied using this method.
5. I cannot wear slip-on shoes, only shoes that lace up and require tieing
6. I hate to touch the feet of other people
7. I once was a very successful lady's shoes salesman
If I was asked to assist someone with putting on her shoes I would reply in my most patronizing tone "We sell fashion, not fit." (Intimidation works really well at the higher end of the lady shoes biz.)
8. If I had to choose between being water boarded or a pedicure, I would yell "Strap me down Mr. Cheney and unleash the hoses!"
9. I wear the same pair of comfortable shoes to work every day and I am not a nurse or a Phys Ed teacher.
10. I have Moderate Pronation. This is not to be confused with Janet Jackson's 1989 album "Rhythm Nation."
11. I also have Plantar fasciitis. This is not to be confused with anything except the sweet, sweet relief of water boarding.
12. The Miracle Foot Repair Cream ("As Seen on TV!") works really well on dry, cracked feet and heels. It will not regrow the tip of your right big toe. Trust me on this.
13. I buy argyle socks but never wear them since I don't want to look all "matchy-matchy."
14. I have owned but never worn publicly sandals.
15. I have never owned Crocs.
16. I once sprained my left ankle while wearing cowboy boots.
17. I am sad that on Mother's Day I no longer have a mother to call and remind how my big toe was savagely wounded on her special day. Now I call and remind my sister.
18. A new pair of Keds never made me run faster or jump higher.
19. Unless you make your own pottery to sell at Renaissance faires or you are Judy Collins, you shalt not wear Earth shoes. It is wee too painful for me to explaineth how I learneth this lesson.
20. I wore Doc Martens for most of the 90s hoping to look like a hipster artist or renegade architect. In retrospect I looked like that sad, doughy accountant at raves who is always yelling "I don't think it's working yet!"
21. A dog that sleeps under the blankets on your feet is a joy in the wintertime but a particularly smelly hell in the summer.
22. At the height of the Age of Disco I had a pair or red and blue platform shoes.
23. In my medicine cabinet are two cans of "Cordovan" shoe polish. "Cordovan" was never a Crayola crayon color--not even in the big box of 64 with the crayon sharpener that my sister always got for her birthday since she was "the artistic one." Yeah, that was really artistic when you tried to hack my toe off on Mother's Day you demented junior Vincent Van Gouge.
24. Calling those heartless wretches at the Employee Assistance Program hotline to discuss your potential Post Traumatic Stress Disorder disability claim due to a childhood toe accident is a total waste of time.
25. My left shoe is untied as I write this.
Bonus Song:
Judy Collins who apparently has all of her toes, sings "Both Sides Now."
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Cupid Shuffle
Well it is looking like Valentine's Day will be another lonely night but just in case something changes in the next week, I have learned to do the "Cupid Shuffle."
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Super Bowl of Snacks!
Can't choose between pierogies for Pittsburgh or pepitas for Arizona? Try The Bacon Explosion, this year's Super Bowl go-to treat!
"You had me at two pounds of bacon."
Saturday, January 31, 2009
...and on the 37th Day of Christmas...
Yes, as Suze Orman would say "To erase it you must face it."
The Christmas tree was taken down last weekend but my dining room still looks like the setting for a sadly maintained Elf 12 Step Program.
So I like Christmas.
And I procrastinate.
Deal with it people!
Okay Herb...take a deep breath...and face it!
Possum and my 401K Pumpkin supervise...
"In every job that must be done there is an element of fun..."
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Do I Smell Red Velvet Cupcakes?
I do! What, for me? Oh, you shouldn't have! Well that wasn't the hint but I will take them for my birthday!
Now if only there would be a big party for me next week everything would be perfect!
Since this is another significant birthday, a parade would be nice! Maybe with the Azalea Trail Maids ...
Update 1/14/2009
Uh oh, not everyone thinks the Azalea Trail Maids should be invited to the party.
Now if only there would be a big party for me next week everything would be perfect!
Since this is another significant birthday, a parade would be nice! Maybe with the Azalea Trail Maids ...
Update 1/14/2009
Uh oh, not everyone thinks the Azalea Trail Maids should be invited to the party.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Hint #1
Singer, actress and baritone Cher sings and performs 7 different parts in "West Side Story."
This is either:
1. The greatest performance ever
2. The biggest ego driven train wreck ever
3. Required viewing for Gay 101
4. All of the above
At 5:26 in Cher hits a high C (B flat?) that peels wallpaper and neuters male dogs within 2 miles
This is either:
1. The greatest performance ever
2. The biggest ego driven train wreck ever
3. Required viewing for Gay 101
4. All of the above
At 5:26 in Cher hits a high C (B flat?) that peels wallpaper and neuters male dogs within 2 miles
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year: No Bold Outline of Truth Here
Just me here on New Year's eve, babysitting two more dogs (one a lively puppy) and watching TV. Four dogs = one extremely p.o'd cat and one baby sitter really tired of throwing for ONE LAST TIME the poor mangled wet squirrel chew toy.
Bernice and Anthony enter Sugarbaker's with Bernice blowing a party horn.
BERNICE: Happy New Year!
JULIA: Well, Happy New Year, Bernice.
BERNICE: (blowing horn at Suzanne) Happy New Year, Suzanne.
SUZANNE: Happy New Year to you too, Bernice.....ya little fruitcake.
JULIA: Suzanne!!
SUZANNE: Oh, she knows I'm just kidding. She loves for me to call her that, don't you Bernice?
BERNICE: It's ok. I would mind though, for example, if we were at the White House.
SUZANNE: Ok, I'll remember that.
MARY JO: Bernice, why are you wearing your Christmas tree skirt?
BERNICE: Well, this is the skirt you gave me for Christmas.
MARY JO: Yes, I know. It's not to wear. It's a Christmas tree skirt. You're supposed to put it around the base of your Christmas tree.
BERNICE: Oh! Well no wonder. I like to never got this thing on. I finally just let the waist out and tied it with a belt.
Ross and Monica do "The Routine"
Mary Jo and Suzanne are sitting in the hospital waiting room after Charlene goes into labor
MARY JO: What have you got in that envelope?
SUZANNE: Charlene's jewelry. Julia just gave it to me. Did you see this dinky little diamond chip (bracelet) Bill gave her?
MARY JO: Suzanne, they're saving for a house.
SUZANNE: Well, I don't care. In a few minutes she's gonna be lying in that delivery room like a big ole zeppelin tied to stirrups, and he gives her a chip........can you believe it?
Shortly later on the phone with Bill......
SUZANNE: Listen, Colonel? Next time you go buying jewelry we gotta talk. I mean, this little diamond chip business isn't gonna get it. That's something you give a six year old when she joins the church.
Greg Evigan and Marie Osmond "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?"
The roads are snowed over, so Bernice calls an ambulance to take her to the hospital when she hears that Charlene is in labor.
AMBULANCE DRIVER: Did you know that it's a criminal offense to solicit an emergency vehicle under false pretenses?
BERNICE: Do you know that if the Avon lady falls down on your property you have to pay for it?
Elvis "Auld Lang Syne".
The ladies and Anthony have been mesmerized by the tales at Miss Minnie's bedside as she starts to speak passionately and emotionally.
MISS MINNIE BELL WARD: ....I thought as I got older, the bold outline of truth would be revealed to me, but it hasn't happened. When I was young, I was in such a hurry. And now, I've been here a hundred years. It seems like only yesterday I held my babies in my arms. I'm glad to be going home. It's been a long time since I've seen my family. And I wish for all of you, all the love and happiness I had in my life -- and I hope the world keeps going toward freedom. And I hope that people everywhere can learn to live together in peace. As my pappa used to say......we ain't what we should be, we ain't what we're gonna be, but at least we ain't what we were.....
"Somewhere Out There"
Bernice and Anthony enter Sugarbaker's with Bernice blowing a party horn.
BERNICE: Happy New Year!
JULIA: Well, Happy New Year, Bernice.
BERNICE: (blowing horn at Suzanne) Happy New Year, Suzanne.
SUZANNE: Happy New Year to you too, Bernice.....ya little fruitcake.
JULIA: Suzanne!!
SUZANNE: Oh, she knows I'm just kidding. She loves for me to call her that, don't you Bernice?
BERNICE: It's ok. I would mind though, for example, if we were at the White House.
SUZANNE: Ok, I'll remember that.
MARY JO: Bernice, why are you wearing your Christmas tree skirt?
BERNICE: Well, this is the skirt you gave me for Christmas.
MARY JO: Yes, I know. It's not to wear. It's a Christmas tree skirt. You're supposed to put it around the base of your Christmas tree.
BERNICE: Oh! Well no wonder. I like to never got this thing on. I finally just let the waist out and tied it with a belt.
Ross and Monica do "The Routine"
Mary Jo and Suzanne are sitting in the hospital waiting room after Charlene goes into labor
MARY JO: What have you got in that envelope?
SUZANNE: Charlene's jewelry. Julia just gave it to me. Did you see this dinky little diamond chip (bracelet) Bill gave her?
MARY JO: Suzanne, they're saving for a house.
SUZANNE: Well, I don't care. In a few minutes she's gonna be lying in that delivery room like a big ole zeppelin tied to stirrups, and he gives her a chip........can you believe it?
Shortly later on the phone with Bill......
SUZANNE: Listen, Colonel? Next time you go buying jewelry we gotta talk. I mean, this little diamond chip business isn't gonna get it. That's something you give a six year old when she joins the church.
Greg Evigan and Marie Osmond "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?"
The roads are snowed over, so Bernice calls an ambulance to take her to the hospital when she hears that Charlene is in labor.
AMBULANCE DRIVER: Did you know that it's a criminal offense to solicit an emergency vehicle under false pretenses?
BERNICE: Do you know that if the Avon lady falls down on your property you have to pay for it?
Elvis "Auld Lang Syne".
The ladies and Anthony have been mesmerized by the tales at Miss Minnie's bedside as she starts to speak passionately and emotionally.
MISS MINNIE BELL WARD: ....I thought as I got older, the bold outline of truth would be revealed to me, but it hasn't happened. When I was young, I was in such a hurry. And now, I've been here a hundred years. It seems like only yesterday I held my babies in my arms. I'm glad to be going home. It's been a long time since I've seen my family. And I wish for all of you, all the love and happiness I had in my life -- and I hope the world keeps going toward freedom. And I hope that people everywhere can learn to live together in peace. As my pappa used to say......we ain't what we should be, we ain't what we're gonna be, but at least we ain't what we were.....
"Somewhere Out There"
Sunday, December 28, 2008
This Is My New Year's Resolution!
Richard Carpenter wants to lock Karen in a closet.
Karen Carpenter wants to slam the piano lid on Richard's hands
Harvey Korman wants to give away his girdle and muff.
Kristy McNichol wants Donnie Osmond and Farrah's hair.
I just want someone to help me cleanup after Christmas dinner.
Karen Carpenter wants to slam the piano lid on Richard's hands
Harvey Korman wants to give away his girdle and muff.
Kristy McNichol wants Donnie Osmond and Farrah's hair.
I just want someone to help me cleanup after Christmas dinner.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Dear Santa: My Wish List from the Home Trends Catalog
Dearest Santa,
So far my friends haven't fulfilled my Wish List from the Home Trends Catalog. Will you bring these tonight? I promise to be good in 2009 (admittedly 2008 was a disaster).
Love
Herb(ie)
Holiday Washer/Dryer Cover
Need extra space for Christmas dinner? Reclaim the surface of Your Washer And Dryer With This Mildew-proof Vinyl Appliance Cover. Fits all models and makes. Now you can have that extra work area you always need to fold clothes on, store extra laundry on or serve a buffet dinner for 12. 30"w x 23"d x 36"h.
IT MUST BE A DEPRESSION LIQUID SOAP MAKER SET
Save money and eliminate the mess of leftover soap pieces and enjoy your favorite cleanser as liquid soap. Our Liquid Soap Maker converts soap slivers into liquid hand soap. Reusable beads(included) aid to soften soft soap and any remaining pesky hairs. Place one in every bathroom and in your kitchen, too.
I Hate You Eucalyptus Nasal Cones
Snore Less Instantly!
Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like having two plastic plugs jammed up your nose! Stop snoring, stuffy noses, congestion and dry mouths without drugs or sticky tape. Simply slip these comfortable little rubber cones into your nostrils to enjoy 100 percent more air, less snoring and great sleep! They open airways naturally, are reusable (for up to 6 months) and virtually invisible. Made of FDA approved surgical rubber. Eucalyptus scented. One pair.
You'll Never Shower Alone Bouffant Oversized Pink Shower Cap
You'll never shower alone again! Is your beehive too big for an average shower cap? Do you live in Baltimore? This stylish Shower Cap, with its adorable heart, lip and words of love in many languages print, looks lovely on anyone. Oversized design - one size fits all. Cotton with elasticized waterproof lining
TMI Thursday Terry Cloth Toilet Seat Cover
Add comfort, warmth and potential TMI Thursday posts to bathroom visits! Home Trends soft, terrycloth toilet seat cover is treated with an antibacterial agent that won’t wash out. Our Toilet Seat Cover provides you with cozy comfort and protection in the bathroom. Home Trends Cozy Covers stretch to fit standard size toilet seats. Made with acrylic terrycloth weave, and elastic all around for a smooth, snug fit. Imported.
Show Off Toilet Tank Caddy
Your 401K may have been flushed away (HA!) but you can still show off your remaining assets to family and guests. This handy 3-in-1 Toilet Caddy organizes your bathroom instantly. Keep up to 4 rolls of toilet paper in the side holder, store magazines at your fingertips as well as tissues, lotions, etc. on the top shelf. No tool assembly. Chrome plated steel and plastic. 18 x 7 x 16 inches.
Not from the catalog but just to enjoy...
"Jingle Bells" (Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians)
So far my friends haven't fulfilled my Wish List from the Home Trends Catalog. Will you bring these tonight? I promise to be good in 2009 (admittedly 2008 was a disaster).
Love
Herb(ie)
Holiday Washer/Dryer Cover
Need extra space for Christmas dinner? Reclaim the surface of Your Washer And Dryer With This Mildew-proof Vinyl Appliance Cover. Fits all models and makes. Now you can have that extra work area you always need to fold clothes on, store extra laundry on or serve a buffet dinner for 12. 30"w x 23"d x 36"h.
IT MUST BE A DEPRESSION LIQUID SOAP MAKER SET
Save money and eliminate the mess of leftover soap pieces and enjoy your favorite cleanser as liquid soap. Our Liquid Soap Maker converts soap slivers into liquid hand soap. Reusable beads(included) aid to soften soft soap and any remaining pesky hairs. Place one in every bathroom and in your kitchen, too.
I Hate You Eucalyptus Nasal Cones
Snore Less Instantly!
Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like having two plastic plugs jammed up your nose! Stop snoring, stuffy noses, congestion and dry mouths without drugs or sticky tape. Simply slip these comfortable little rubber cones into your nostrils to enjoy 100 percent more air, less snoring and great sleep! They open airways naturally, are reusable (for up to 6 months) and virtually invisible. Made of FDA approved surgical rubber. Eucalyptus scented. One pair.
You'll Never Shower Alone Bouffant Oversized Pink Shower Cap
You'll never shower alone again! Is your beehive too big for an average shower cap? Do you live in Baltimore? This stylish Shower Cap, with its adorable heart, lip and words of love in many languages print, looks lovely on anyone. Oversized design - one size fits all. Cotton with elasticized waterproof lining
TMI Thursday Terry Cloth Toilet Seat Cover
Add comfort, warmth and potential TMI Thursday posts to bathroom visits! Home Trends soft, terrycloth toilet seat cover is treated with an antibacterial agent that won’t wash out. Our Toilet Seat Cover provides you with cozy comfort and protection in the bathroom. Home Trends Cozy Covers stretch to fit standard size toilet seats. Made with acrylic terrycloth weave, and elastic all around for a smooth, snug fit. Imported.
Show Off Toilet Tank Caddy
Your 401K may have been flushed away (HA!) but you can still show off your remaining assets to family and guests. This handy 3-in-1 Toilet Caddy organizes your bathroom instantly. Keep up to 4 rolls of toilet paper in the side holder, store magazines at your fingertips as well as tissues, lotions, etc. on the top shelf. No tool assembly. Chrome plated steel and plastic. 18 x 7 x 16 inches.
Not from the catalog but just to enjoy...
"Jingle Bells" (Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians)
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