I've read your DC blogs about your urban tomatoes, tree box squash, edible lawns, balcony cucumbers and towering sweet corn ornamental sorghum. Yawn!
Look people, bow down to the new Frederick Law Olmstead of DC gardening and take a look at my Baby Boo white pumpkins (Martha Stewart's favorite).
Suck it bitches!
I didn’t plan on growing the largest okra pod on 13th St—I originally bought my “Little Lucy” okra plant at the 14th and U Farmers Market solely for its burgundy foliage that I thought would look good in my Herbal Petting Garden that runs along my fence bordering 13th St.
I enjoyed the fantasy though of using "Little Lucy" along with the Herbs in my sidewalk garden as an educational tool and I pictured myself the new local ambassador of the Slow Food movement. Standing on the sidewalk in my overalls and simple battered hemp hat I would teach local children the life-enhancing benefits of food that is good, clean and fair. I would be the green Mr. Green Jeans, a crunchy Maria Von Trapp in simple gardening clogs and the vegan Mary Poppins all rolled into one.
How hard could it be to stop the little tykes strolling towards Taco Bell to take a few minutes to learn to appreciate how local organic farming preserves cultural cuisines and the associated plants, seeds, and domestic animals within an ecoregion? Afterwards we would sing a few rounds of “Old McDonald Had a Farm” and then retire to the kitchen for some pickling and vigorous butter churning.
The reality is that it is really hot standing on the sidewalk in the summer and the only food decisions the local children seem to care about involve supersizing. In addition, vicious urban mosquitoes the size of a quarter discourage any lingering in my garden so “Little Lucy” was ignored for a couple of weeks and I missed the prime harvesting size of three inches for the pods.
"Little Lucy" continued to grow.
And grow.
I walked out yesterday to inspect the garden and discovered "Little Lucy" was all grown up. Holy Cialis! No agricultural dysfunction here! "Little Lucy" was packing. "Little Lucy" was hung. "Little Lucy" was sporting some major wood. Nine inches and still growing! Instead of promoting a healthy vegan lifestyle I have a salute to sausage priapism. An all beef thermometer. A wrinkle beast. In my Herbal PETTING garden!
My dream of women stopping to show their children the earthly goodness of Community Supported Agriculture has become a nightmare of women shrieking and covering their children's eyes as they rush by. Men stop in their tracks, gawk and have the sudden urge to purchase large costly automobiles.
More than one person on my AIM Buddylist has tossed contact information over the fence.
I'm bitter that DC doesn't have a State Fair. Heck, I'd even take a County Fair. Ms. Holmes-Norton, forget Statehood! Think local. Think sustainable. Think County. I want my Blue Ribbon!
In the meantime "Little Lucy" continues to grow. Okra gone wild. On 13th St!
I see you reach over my fence and stroke the rosemary bush as you walk up the street. I do this also as I leave my house for work and somehow the bright and fresh smell of rosemary on my hands always seems to provide a pleasant start to my day. What's rosemary good for besides lamb and potatoes--oh yeah, memory. Besides memory, rosemary may also be useful in the prevention and treatment of head lice. When was the last time you had head lice? See, it's working!
This year I decided to expand the Petting Garden to add a menagerie of esoteric Herbs such as basil, lavender, oregano, sage, dill and cilantro to join the rosemary on the strip of yard between the boxwood shrubs and the fence that borders 13th St. Not sure which Herb you need to get through another day of DC cubicle life? Whether you need protection from witches or a cure for excessive lactation, there is something for you in the Petting Garden of 13th St!
Basil--Sweet, Purple and Cinnamon varieties line the fence. It is traditionally used as supplementary treatment of stress, asthma and diabetes in India. It is a symbol of love in present day Italy but was symbol of hatred in ancient Greece. Take some to your boss--let her guess your mood today.
Oregano--Oregano in medicine is used for suppressing coughs. Dried oregano is sometimes mistaken for marijuana. In the movie "A Few Good Men", Tom Cruise's character has the following exchange with a very irate junior prosecuting JAG officer while at softball practice: "It was oregano, Steve. He bought a dime bag of oregano." Crumble a few leaves and throw some on a table in the break room and see who empties the vending machine of munchies in the afternoon.
Mint--Mint was originally used as a medicinal herb to treat stomach aches and chest pain. Mint was also used to whiten teeth in the Middle Ages. Oil from mint is used in environmentally friendly insecticides to kill some common pests like wasps, hornets, ants and cockroaches.
Sage--Sage is the little Herb that can! Sage has medicinal uses ranging from indigestion, gas, liver complaints, excessive lactation, excessive perspiration, excessive salivation, anxiety, depression, female sterility, and menopausal problems. And you just thought it was the Thanksgiving smell!
Cilantro--Some dislike the soapy taste/smell of cilantro but it is thought to relieve anxiety and insomnia.
Lavender--Lavender is used to induce relaxation. Oh definitely you must pet the lavender as you go by.
Dill--The name dill is thought to have originated from a Norse or Anglo-Saxon word "dylle" meaning to soothe or lull since the plant has properties for relieving gas. In the Middle Ages dill was thought to protect against witchcraft. Is today a company "Team Building" day? Take some dill. Maybe two pinches!
The Petting Garden of 13th St (13th St NW between Logan Circle and U) (follow your nose).
Herb references from Wikipedia and the back of Burpee seed packets.
