Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Greatest Blog Post I Didn't Write About the Prostitute and DC's Own [Insert Name of Famous Pop Singer Here]

It was going to be a great post! I could already feel the linky-love I would get from DCBLOGs and DCist due to its surprising local connection and maybe a shout out from Wonkette since it involved prostitutes. Wonkette LIVES for stories about whores!

It all started with a Google search
on April 11, 2008 at 5:22:59 pm of "[Insert Name of Famous Pop Singer] and Prostitute" that delivered someone from West Lebanon, New Hampshire to a pun filled and mostly unrelated story on my blog. He stayed for 16 seconds and viewed two pages. Yes for the uninitiated you should know we know how you get to our blogs and what you do on them although we don't necessarily know who you are.

I decided to do a little online research--had [Insert Name of Famous Pop Singer] become a certified whoremonger? Or better yet, is [Insert Name of Famous Pop Singer] now a prostitute? Was he forced to enter the oldest profession due to newer professions that allow all those illegal downloads of his music?

What I found on Wikipedia and online wasn't really enough to get The Smoking Gun or into a panting Britney overdrive. In fact there was nothing really there at all. I was mildly surprised to discover that [Insert Name of Famous Pop Star] had been born in Washington, DC and was still a local resident. Although his last instantly recognizable monster hit from the early 80s still packs the dance floor at wedding receptions he has been in and out of the music business over the years and through most of this time, he kept his job with a local government agency although now it appears he may be a contractor.

So He's not a whoremonger. Or a gigolo. He's a retired civil servant with a famous past.


I did put two and two together and discover a perhaps coincidental connection with a current local story involving prostitution based upon the purported location of his place of work. Score! I could still write a snarky post about how he could teach [Local Madam] how ["To Do What Is Mentioned in His Greatest Hit"].

But is it fair for a Google search result to hang out there for the rest of Neternity for "[Insert Name of Famous Singer] and the Prostitute"? He has NOTHING to do with prostitution and seems to have led a very law abiding life.

A minute on a blog and a life on the Net. I'm not going to do it. At least not to him.

Blogging has consequences!

I am not a journalist. I am not going to track him down and ask if the Wikipedia information on his current line of work is true and by the way, has he bumped into
[Local Madam] in the hallway and did he teach her ["To Do What Is Mentioned in His Greatest Hit"]?

But it would have been a great blog post.


jimbo said...

I was gonna say, "Was it Paul Lekakis?"

But then no one would know who I was talking about.

Herb of DC said...

Jimbo: Boom, Boom, Boom let's go back to Tracks and no it's not him.

Anonymous said...

Roberta Flack?

Bob said...

I don't think Henry Rollins is a civil servant.. is he? I can't think of a hit he had that would be in line with what you mentioned... hmmm, I'm stumped!