Sunday, April 19, 2009

For Your Rental Consideration

Clean, bright* furnished one bedroom available May 1 in a large quiet townhouse one block to the U Street Metro. You will share** a large renovated hallway bathroom. There is one closet in the bedroom equipped with a California Closet system organizer on one side. Utilities included.

You must have good credit, verifiable references and not be a Twitter addict.*** Please be dog and cat**** friendly or at least good at pretending.

The kitchen has been recently remodeled and has granite countertops and SS appliances*****. There is a large deck in the back overlooking a small garden.

I am the homeowner and primary tenant and I am a fairly boring and poor guy****** working in the non-profit sector so if you are an intern or student type, this may be like moving back in with Mom and Dad. Well like moving in with Mom and Dad******* if Mom is fashion and design challenged and Dad is a amiable oaf (think Al Bundy). I am not looking for a BFF or a companion, just a reliable non-serial killer type tenant.

The house and kitchen are fully furnished********* so the only items you need to bring are what will fit in your 10' X 11' 2nd floor room.**********

* Two large windows, one small.

** By share I mean you take your turn, not actually SHARE.

*** Facebook addiction is understood. Oh and I forgot to mention I have WiFi.

**** The cat doesn't approve of any of us and constantly tries to escape.

*****Wow! That sounds really pretentious. Did I mention my scrapbooking hobby?

******I do have a blog though so if you are messy I will totally post the pictures all over the interwebs

*******Ha! You call that music! In my day we had Duran-Duran!

******** Poorly. I don't have the gene and have a large balance on a JC Penney credit card.

********* Unless you have a kick-ass 42 " LCD TV which would look awesome in the den constantly tuned to my porn (HGTV).


LiLu said...

"Unless you have a kick-ass 42 " LCD TV which would look awesome in the den constantly tuned to my porn (HGTV)."

Check. We figured out how to hook the computer up to it, too...

Titania said...

Damn, I only have a 32 inch TV...

lacochran said...

I am very impressed. With the cat.

urban bohemian said...

Now if only the ads on craigslist could be this honest and detailed...