Saturday, January 10, 2009

Your Inaugural Ball Questions Answered (Part 1)

Q: What should I keep in mind when selecting an Inaugural dress?

A: Of uppermost concern is your comfort and safety. Your outfit must be able to survive a 3-5 mile walk through freezing DC streets, shield you from a possible terrorist attack, yet allow you to stand for hours in an overly heated ballroom with only a plastic cup of white wine to sustain you. During the evening you may be pushed, stepped on and possibly freak danced by Chris Matthews. Experts recommend for first timers a fashionable yet durable dress made of duct tape with a coordinating duct tux for your date. Enjoy!

Q: The theme of the Inauguration "A New Birth of Freedom" commemorates the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birth. Would using this theme for our ball outfits be a good idea?

A. If by "A New Birth of Freedom" theme you mean this couple, yes by all means. Especially if you are going to the Lincoln 2.0 Inaugural Ball.

If you mean this couple, no.

Q: May ladies wear hats?

A. Hats are always appropriate as long as they are dignified and restrained and reflect the solemn nature of this historic occasion.

Q. The 2009 Presidential Inaugural Committee promises an inclusive and accessible inauguration that reflects the new Administration's commitment to leadership that sets aside partisanship and unites the nation around our shared values and ideals. Having said that (whew!) is it okay to wear outfits celebrating our regional cultural heritages?

A. Hmm. Well that depends. For instance the creative Hawaiian black tie look is definitely in this year:

The formal Delaware Amtrak look is in

The sexy Maverick Eskimo look is out. Try again in 2012.

The Chicago Politician look is in

And this one is just sad and very out

Stay tuned for Part 2 "Finding a Cheap Inaugural Outfit and Date on Craigslist" and "Tricky Inaugural Etiquette: What to Do When the Losing Presidential Candidate Shows Up at the Bloggerational Ball."


Scenic Wheaton said...

I'm dying to know, Herb - what will you be wearing?

lacochran said...

Katie? Not Sarah?

LiLu said...

I'm definitely going with the "White Trash" option. That way I don't have to buy anything...

Wait what?

Katherine said...

"Suck it Alaska!"


Also, please provide a step by step to constructing your own Duct tape dress.