Thursday, July 17, 2008

Are You Blogging About Me While I am Blogging About You?

I’m still trying to find an acceptable tenant on Craigslist and so far, no luck. Okay, admittedly I have had a little fun with this and got some snarky blog material out if it but I am serious about getting a room mate. Why is this so difficult? All I want is someone gainfully employed who works long hours, is never home, has no furniture, is not crazy kind and is clean but not OCD about it. Yes I am being picky but this is for someone who will be living in my house with access to my private papers, the pets and the good liquor.

Each time I posted the ad for “Updated Sunny Bedroom in U St/Logan House” I got about 10-15 replies. About half immediately get rejected for seemingly replying to the wrong ad “I look forward to meeting you and your efficiency” or are breathtakingly pushy “Please send me pictures of the living room, kitchen, bathroom, deck and bedroom furnishings” or just plain weird “Do you have any problems with mice/roaches/flys? I require silence after Midnight.”

Many others get the boot based upon their MySpace or FaceBook profiles. Yes kids, we Baby Boomers are jealous of your technical savvy, internets prowess and muscle tone but we have managed to master basic Google searches. I think it is great that you like to get drunk with 20 or so of our closest friends and flash the camera but you are not going to do that in my house. That honor is solely reserved for the owner.

Two Craigslistians made it through all the preliminary rounds and toured the house. The first was just back from three years in Tanzania with the Peace Corps. I figured that after that experience my house with its minor flaws would seem like the Trump Palace to him. I liked him and attempted to contact him again to move forward but he never answered my emails. For all I know he is back in Tanzania under the Craigslist Tenant Protection program.

The second finalist had recently accepted a job as a writer for a professional blog. Who knew you could make money at this? He visited the house twice, met the pets and he finally informed me he was going to move into a group house. In Petworth. With five other guys. Probably from Tanzania.

So is it me? The house? The pets? The 80s decor? Did they discover that I was blogging about the experience and got scared away? Worse yet, is there someone out there blogging about me while I blog about him?

I discussed this with my therapist best friend and we decided to raise the rent to try to get some older, more stable applicants and I posted it again. Tonight I have someone taking the tour. Wish me luck! He is in the military and participates in triathlons. We have so much in common!

I can't shake the feeling though, that someone else is blogging about this. I spend the day launching various Google searches looking for their (my!) story by using combinations of keywords such as:

Herb, DC, Logan, U St Metro, $900, 13th St, Furnished, Dust Bunnies, Newly Remodeled Bathroom, Premature Male Pattern Baldness, Pets, Lucy and Lizzie,
Stainless Steel, Eccentric, Café St Ex, Litter Box, Eclectic, Dish Drawers, Reserved, Scary Basement, Kristy McNichol Poster, Funny Smells, Granite, Basic Cable, Thighmaster, Radon Gas, Wine in a Box, Deck, Adult Acne, Fruit Flies, Viagra, Plaid on Plaid, Clothesline, Cackles, Vintage Toaster Collection, Jimmy Hoffa, Thai Porn, Green, Rachael Ray, Medical Test Results, Thrift Shop, High School Musical 2, Testim, Ear Hair, 2001 1040 Long Form Instructions, Full House Marathon, Leg Warmers, Awkward Silence, Lotrel 10/20, Mildew, Staring, Howler Monkeys, Leaks, Goiter, Salmonella, Duct Tape, Clown Art, Bad Breath, Stained, Boils, Inappropriately Touching Himself, Love Canal, Unibrow, On Street Parking, What Not to Wear, Close Talker, Garanimals, Lazy Eye, Cankles, Ostentatious Christmas Decorations, Tumescence, Snaggle Tooth.

So far I haven't found anything. If you see a posting, will you let me know?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

will definitely keep an eye out for you.