Thursday, October 16, 2008
I'm Having a Bad Week and Thanks for Elbowing Me on the Metro, Lady!
I'm really having a bad week! I don't feel well, I am behind at work and I feel like I am a scarecrow surrounded by some really mean Bic Lighter carrying crows.
Wednesday I heard three things you never want to hear:
1. The roofing contractor after inspecting my roof: "You will probably want to get several bids for this."
2. My boss: "I'm going to set up some time next week to discuss your new career goals."
3. A co-worker yelled to me across the Big Humanitarian Non-Profit Cafeteria: "I love your blog!"
Today as I was dragging myself to work, I was riding the escalator down at the Green Line U Street stop. I knew there was a train in the station but I was in no hurry. I was all about the mellow.
I stand right.
I heard behind me the click, click, click of non-running shoes running.
"Excuse me, excuse me," she shouted.
I'm still standing right.
More click, click, click of the non-running shoes.
"Excuse me, excuuuuuuse me" and wham, I get an elbow in my left side. Hard!
Geez lady, it's stand to the right not press yourself like Flat Stanley against the escalator rail to make way for a crazed woman running for the train like it is the last helicopter out of Saigon!
She made it aboard and I did not. However, I stood at the door and gave her a really dirty look. I guess I should have given her the finger but I am from Indiana and we don't do that unless you are elbowed by a woman wearing a University of Kentucky sweatshirt.
Admittedly, my dirty look is not that threatening. If anything she thought a man having severe gastrointestinal problems was trying to make eye contact in a pathetic attempt to borrow some Pepto Bismol.
So anyway, brunette woman in the brown blouse with the Sarah Palinesque updo who elbowed me at about 8:05 am at the U Street Green Line station--you really need to relax. Calm the frack down!
Why don't you try, I don't know, maybe some aromatherapy to relax?
Here ya go courtesy of the National Arboretum and me!
Take a deep breath!
Click, click, click!