Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm Having a Bad Week and Thanks for Elbowing Me on the Metro, Lady!

I'm really having a bad week! I don't feel well, I am behind at work and I feel like I am a scarecrow surrounded by some really mean Bic Lighter carrying crows.

Wednesday I heard three things you never want to hear:

1. The roofing contractor after inspecting my roof: "You will probably want to get several bids for this."

2. My boss: "I'm going to set up some time next week to discuss your new career goals."

3. A co-worker yelled to me across the Big Humanitarian Non-Profit Cafeteria: "I love your blog!"

Today as I was dragging myself to work, I was riding the escalator down at the Green Line U Street stop. I knew there was a train in the station but I was in no hurry. I was all about the mellow.

I stand right.

I heard behind me the click, click, click of non-running shoes running.

"Excuse me, excuse me," she shouted.

I'm still standing right.

More click, click, click of the non-running shoes.

"Excuse me, excuuuuuuse me" and wham, I get an elbow in my left side. Hard!

Geez lady, it's stand to the right not press yourself like Flat Stanley against the escalator rail to make way for a crazed woman running for the train like it is the last helicopter out of Saigon!

She made it aboard and I did not. However, I stood at the door and gave her a really dirty look. I guess I should have given her the finger but I am from Indiana and we don't do that unless you are elbowed by a woman wearing a University of Kentucky sweatshirt.

Admittedly, my dirty look is not that threatening. If anything she thought a man having severe gastrointestinal problems was trying to make eye contact in a pathetic attempt to borrow some Pepto Bismol.

So anyway, brunette woman in the brown blouse with the Sarah Palinesque updo who elbowed me at about 8:05 am at the U Street Green Line station--you really need to relax. Calm the frack down!

Why don't you try, I don't know, maybe some aromatherapy to relax?

Here ya go courtesy of the National Arboretum and me!

Take a deep breath!

Click, click, click!


lacochran's evil twin said...

Love the new header shot. Is that urinal part of the National Arboretum?

lacochran's evil twin said...

You thought your week was bad before? I just tagged you. Check my blog for details.

Just do it.

Katherine said...

So, um, on the blog thing. Feel your pain. I get an email from Lawyerly Place Receptionist. She's all, "come see me AT ONCE." I take that to mean a person I don't like is being escorted out and I should come watch the fun. Instead, she has a blog pulled up on her screen and she says, "This is you?!?! I love you. You the sec pool all pee our pants laughing." She recognized the flowers that were just delivered and I posted about. Gah!