Thursday, August 7, 2008

Scientology, the Executive Intern Program and My Buffalo Chicken Sandwich

Have Scientologists infiltrated the Executive Intern program at my employer?

I was riding the elevator at the Really Big Non-Profit, just me and my Buffalo Chicken Sandwich from the Really Big Non-Profit cafeteria (if it is Buffalo Chicken Sandwich Day you know it it is Wednesday!) when two male Executive Interns got on board and pressed the number for a Lofty Floor several stories and pay grades above mine.

“You should have joined us Sunday. After the zoo we went and toured the L. Ron Hubbard House” the improbably named intern Tweed said to Intern Brock, he of the Mitt Romney-like jaw.

What, our sweet little handsome Executive Interns touring the birthplace of Scientology? Was this an approved Executive Intern activity like foosball, tanning or creating PowerPoints Stating The Obvious? Or was this merely a regrettable one time event like Really Big Non-Profit Logo Tattoos or Executive Intern Lactation Room Hook-Ups? The heavy smell of suspicion, Axe Body Spray and blue cheese dressing hung in the North Building elevator as we proceeded upwards.

“It was strange, every time you entered a room someone followed you and closed the door behind you. “

The elevator reached my floor and the doors slowly opened to reveal my floor's lowly vestibule bedecked with posters of Really Big Non-Profit Approved Motivational Sayings. No one else was on the elevator besides us. Do I pretend I meant to escort my Buffalo Chicken Sandwich to the Lofty Floor and enjoy the romantic views towards Georgetown along with a potential heaping helping of dishy MySpace Dianetics?

Or exit now and share my Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with the inspirational poster of the the ocean and the admonition of “If you're not riding the wave of'll find yourself beneath it” yet never know the end of this story?

You know me. I resist change. The sandwich won. Oh, I left an important detail out. It was Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with Sweet Potato Fries Day.

You call it Wednesday.

And the fries were still hot.

Besides the interns go back to school Friday, let their Universities deal with this.

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