Best Door 2

The apples were beginning to turn grinch green so I upgraded to lemons for the New Year. The smell as you enter and exit is amazing!

OK I was one lemon short. You find the fake one...

Indytucky Christmas Wrap-Up

Lights were viewed...



















Santa stopped by...

























and of course the breakfast casserole was served...
















More to come soon!

Taking a Break

Happy Holidays!

OMG! Marie Osmond!

The dancing, fainting and doll promoting Marie caps off her drama filled comeback year by landing a talk show set to debut in 2008.

Rode Hard and Put Up Wet !

14th St's Dakota Cowgirl closes her calves for good on Sunday Dec 23. Upstairs bar Ramrod says "Woof" one last time the same day.

No reason given by staff for the closing.

To help alleviate the pain, Bear merchandise may be purchased at Merrill Osmond's Bear Den Store.

Update: 12/28 Jimbo hears that the the building was sold to the owners of the Duplex Diner.

Cher and the Osmonds Celebrate the Wonder of the Season

Wearing outfits that years later were repurposed as the original set of "The View", Cher and the Osmonds salute Stevie Wonder.

"The Year Onions Ruined Christmas!"

My sister called last night and asked "What are you making us for Christmas Brunch?" I don't know why she asks this question every year--she knows the answer. "The same thing we have every year!"

Ever since my mother passed away, it has fallen upon me to drive 800 miles to cook Christmas brunch for my family in Southern Indiana and Western Kentucky. Yes, I have the honor of getting up at 5:30 am on Christmas morning to cook for the some of the pickiest group of eaters ever assembled.

As I noted last year, my vision of a Christmas brunch is something out of a Food Network special without Rachael Ray-- salmon Eggs Benedict, Duchess potatoes, Challah Bread French toast, brandied fruit, dry champagne, and a team of uniformed personal assistants to clean it up. Unfortunately the family demands that the brunch be prepared exactly as my Mother would have done it.

E-x-a-c-t-l-y.

Recipes from one of those Midwestern cookbooks where 90% of the recipes start with a can of cream of mushroom soup. No substitutions and no deletions. No smuggling of exotic illegal aliens across the culinary border such as oregano or green bell pepper. If the dreaded onion is added in a dish (how is it possible that I am related to these people?) it must be minced until unrecognizable. The precision chopping I perform on the rosemary to hide in the potatoes practically calls for a magnifying glass attachment to the knife. And you can just forget adding garlic to anything.

The "Menu":

• Breakfast casserole (you know the one you start the day before with white bread as the base) made with milk, eggs, cheese, bacon and sausage


• Cranberry Casserole (the topping is made with Quaker Oats Instant Cinnamon and Spice Cereal)


• Ham (because we need to complete the Trinity of Pork)


• Roasted Potatoes a la Hidden Rosemary and Onions
  


• Green Bean casserole (yes THAT one)


• Biscuits from a can
  


• Fruit salad (usually only touched by any visiting girl dates)


• Butter


• Salt


• Pepper


• Jelly


• Soft Drinks (Dr Pepper is the Midwestern Red Bull, apparently)
  

• Sanka

• An assortment of Christmas cookies

Now I am just as mildly OCD as the next guy, and there is really nothing wrong with never setting the dryer timer at anything past 50 minutes (the house might burn down), or always turning the TV in the kitchen on regardless as to how long you are going to be in there (the house might burn down) or always carrying the green umbrella with you (the house might burn down). But I am starting to dread now the pressure each year of our OCD Christmas. What if I lost a recipe? What if I made a dicing miscalculation and the onions were found in the potatoes? Would I be the source of some sad future Christmas Movie of the Week "The Year Onions Ruined Christmas?"

Last year I did make a mistake with the breakfast casserole but one that I was able to eventually recover from. Smug in my knowledge that I had sneaked in a pinch of cumin and had the perfect cover story if discovered "That Jimmy Dean Sausage is just not the same ever since they fired Jimmy Dean!" I realized that something didn't look right as I was about to put the breakfast casserole in the refrigerator.

I had left out the two cups of milk. F***! It was Christmas eve and the stores were closed so I had to make it work. I poured the milk in but it just sat there looking very white like the rest of the state of Indiana and politely mocked me while refusing to mix with the diverse layer of egg, bacon, sausage and cheese.

I got three bowls out. I dipped out the cheese and bacon from one end, the cheese and sausage from the other end, and the highly desired middle section of cheese, bacon, AND sausage.

Swishing the milk around with my fingers I was able to mix it with the eggs, rearranged the soggy white bread and poured the meat and cheese back to their respective sections.

Everyone said it was the best breakfast casserole ever. And no one even noticed the cumin. It was the best brunch ever because it was exactly like all the others before it.

I will repeat this menu next week. Maybe our OCD Christmas isn't that bad. Traditions are what makes visiting family special over the holidays and with my family, I never have to worry about any surprises! Or Onions!

More Collectible Holiday Gift Suggestions from Marie Osmond!

Christmas Darlings Dolls– Petite Amour (COA signed by Marie) Marie Osmond’s Christmas Darlings 1994 vignette is a delightful fun-filled creation that would cheer up Scrooge himself.


















The African American 1996 Mother's Day Doll celebrates the diversity that is Utah and marks the first time that Marie offered two versions of the Greeting Card Doll as well as the first African American Greeting Card doll. The Greeting Card dolls were not originally sold with doll stands; however, one was purchased and is included with this doll. She stands 5.5" inches tall.
















More gift ideas can be found here!

Kristy McNichol Wants Farrah Fawcett's Hair for the Holidays!

Tom boy Kristy warbles her desire to change her image in the New Year to lure Donnie Osmond! From Richard and Karen Carpenter's 1977 Christmas special.



Still having trouble finding that perfect present? How about the Osmond "50th Anniversary T Shirt" from the Osmond General Store. This shirt features the Osmond logo in gold.

More Christmas Present Suggestions from the Osmonds!

A personal fan for Osmond fans...




















For the ultimate Osmond fan: The Osmond 2007 Pin Trader Starter Kit!
























The Osmond's have commissioned a special custom-made lanyard and badge holder for all Osmond Pin Club Members. In addition, the starter pack also includes the exclusive 2007 Pin Trader pin available only to Pin Trader members as well as the "The Osmonds" key chain.

Club Benefits: There is a $35.00 membership fee which is good from January - December. The membership fee entitles you to the following benefits:

Each member will receive a starter kit which includes your lanyard, badge holder, membership card, membership pin, key chain, and a letter from Jimmy Osmond.

I Believe in the Black and White Santa

Growing up in Southern Indiana in the early 1960s, it was very easy to believe in Santa Claus since he was our neighbor and we could easily visit him year round at Santa Claus Land, one of the country’s first theme parks located in, where else, Santa Claus Indiana. The post office in Santa Claus Indiana each year received thousands of letters mailed to Santa from children around the world which were answered by local volunteers.



I was totally convinced that the Santa Claus Land Santa was THE Santa since he always knew my name every time I visited him, a feat that none of Santa’s helpers in Evansville at the big Sears store downtown or in the smelly Igloo in the parking lot of Lawndale Shopping Center could do. He not only knew my name but he knew my sisters name and often already knew which two toys I wanted. My parents scrupulously enforced the “Only ask for two” rule since we were told Santa didn’t like greedy children and would bring you lumps of coal (or even worse, clothing!!!) if you asked for more.



Santa Claus Land was no Disneyland which I only knew from black and white television but it was accessible, affordable and a lot of fun for kids. The attractions included the Mother Goose Land Train, a 1/4-scale locomotive for rides through Mother Goose Land, a toy factory with elves at work, several bucolic children’s rides and a food and souvenir shop. Of course the highlight of the trip was visiting Santa in his little house and having that black and white picture taken which would be mailed to you weeks later. During breaks Santa would go up on the roof of one of the buildings and sit in his in his sleigh ho-hoing and waving to the crowds.






In looking through the myriad of pictures posted on the web now of the same Santa Claus Land Santa, it is apparent that it was not just my family that had carefully preserved the treasured black and white photos of the kids perched on the “real” Santa’s knee. Although I have a copy of this picture of me in my profile that has been colorized, my memories of those visits remain in black and white. A black and white copy of this picture was placed in my mother's coffin before she was buried-the only picture of her now adult children we thought worthy of eternity.

Somewhere in the 80s Santa Claus Land was re-launched as a theme park named, "Holiday World and Splashin’ Safari." In addition to Christmas Land, there are sections of the park dedicated to Fourth of July Land, Halloween Land, Thanksgiving Land, several roller coasters and a water park.




The very colorful Holiday World is closed each year from mid October to mid May. I have never been there. I prefer my memories of when I believed in the black and white Santa.

Christmas Tree of the Week

Christmas Tree of the Week, inside the Door of the Week, framed by the Wreath of the Week on the House of the Week on the Block of the Week in the Neighborhood of the Week.
























Still having trouble finding that perfect present? I suggest the video
"Christmas Memories At The Osmond Family Theater" which features performances by the Osmonds during the past ten years. Starring the Osmond Brothers with special guests, The Osmonds Second Generation, The Merrill Osmond Family String Ensemble, George and Olive Osmond, Heather Osmond, and Babette Young, this video is approximately 80 minutes in length.

Santa = Satan Conspiracy Theorists Find New Clue!

The Devil is in your chimney and if play "Silver Bells" backwards on every street corner you hear...






In unrelated news, you can catch the Osmond Brothers Christmas show tonight at Bally's Grand Ballroom in Atlantic City, NJ.

Mail a Holiday Card to a Military Hospital

This Holiday season, Americans are invited to mail holiday greeting cards along with personal messages of support to wounded service members at military hospitals around the country through a unique partnership between the American Red Cross and Pitney Bowes Inc.

The American Red Cross will collect and review holiday greeting cards to wounded military personnel. For security reasons, the Red Cross will only be able to accept holiday cards, not packages. Red Cross volunteers will receive and bundle the cards to be shipped by Pitney Bowes Government Solutions. Then, Red Cross volunteers at military medical facilities will distribute the cards to patients and their families in time for the holidays.

Holiday cards should be addressed to:

We Support You During Your Recovery!
c/o American Red Cross
PO Box 419
Savage, MD 20763-0419

Be sure to affix adequate postage. Cards must be received no later than December 27.

It's the Most Osmond Time of the Year!

Since I already declared this the Year of the Osmonds, what better way to kick off the Herb of DC "Holidays 2007" than watch some Osmond on Osmond Brothers pairs figure skating?

I don't recall anything this elaborate or energetic in "High School Musical: The Christmas Pageant Show on Ice."

A Badge Encounter of the Bathroom Kind

Since it was that time of the morning when I needed to do some reverse fishing, I entered the men's room at work looking for an empty stall among the three provided. Usually I try to follow the unwritten "every other stall" rule but today there was someone in the center stall so I had to skip to my loo in the adjoining handicap stall.

Selecting the handicap stall is usually my preference anyway since being a big guy it provides more room around the toilet; allowing me to CTL ALT DEL my cache with less of a chance that a toe tapping senator with a wide stance will interrupt me dropping the Brown family off at the neighborhood pool.

Descending onto the launch pad I glanced around hoping not to see shoes or hands frantically waving secret and desperate signals under the stall divider. Instead I see a face--employee T***** A**** ID # 1*****staring up at me. I guess he had clipped his security badge to his belt and as his pants fell towards his ankles it caused his photo ID badge to dangle intrusively under the divider to stare up at me.

What should I do? Drop a piece of toilet paper and cover Employee ID # 1*****'s laminated smile? Hand my badge down to confront his badge and firmly say "No!" Leave and return later to see a man about a horse?

Feeling that I really needed to complete my test of the plumbing NOW, I finished my prairie doggin' before the fiber-challenged employee T***** A**** did and I cast my vote and left.

When I saw employee ID #1***** later in the hallway I had trouble making eye contact. Does he know? Does he know I know what his badge knows?

Best Door

Apparently the Prince of Petworth agrees

A Little Chix Zen in DC!

Reasons You May Want to Go:

The environmentally responsible owners

The 100% natural, free range antibiotic-free, hormone-free chicken

The biodegradable packaging and utensils

The organic side dishes

Reasons You Will Go:

The cool chix-zen vibe

The tasty rotisserie chicken (3 kinds)

The hearty simmered black beans

The church supper comfort of the noodles and cheese

The wraps, bowls and salads

The friendly staff

"Eat responsibly" is their motto. Eating well is the result! Go now before the lines start stretching down 11th St for this quick casual restaurant!


chix
2019 11th St NW
Washington, DC
202-234-chix (2449)

Logan U St Shaw 14th St

Holiday Dessert Review or Warning?

Posted by a proud employee on our online sign-up form for a special holiday luncheon:

Home made Southern Banana Pudding: Delicious banana pudding that will make you want to scrap the bowl or lick the plate ;-)

I Disappoint Google Daily!

Loving those spot-on Google searches! People use this new fangled thingy to garner information and as a result, strangers from around the world visit my blog. Based upon search details from my Sitemeter account, I think I am leaving many of them sorely disappointed.

1. Is Mike Rowe Mormon?

I don't know and why do you care? He's not running for President. However, I don't think I have ever seen him wearing Mormon underwear on "Dirty Jobs."

2. Washington DC porn stars

OK, I mean really. What an oxymoron!

3. People who are poo pot.

Marie Osmond stay off my blog!!!

4. Scholarships for brunettes

Huh?

5. Finding herb in DC

Something tells me I don't think you are looking for me.

6. Why do dogs lick their blankets?

Because it is covering their butts?

7. Picture of a duck killing a rat.

Sorry, this isn't a porn site.

8. Where can I race my street car?

Have you seen my car?

9. Fashion through the years

Have you seen me in person?

10. Ann Curry leather

Sorry, this isn't a porn site.

11. Miss Utah dress

Sorry, this isn't a porn site

11. Possum soup labels

Yes, I was raised in Southern Indiana/Western Kentucky and ate burgoo but we never labeled it. Or really asked what was in it.

12. Are Fisher-Paykel refrigerators quiet?

YES!!! I can help with this. My FP refrigerator is very quiet and has been quiet since it stopped working the week before Thanksgiving. The "expedited" part is now in and I am on the schedule for Friday December 7. ("Your repairman will call between 8 and 10 to let you know what time he will be there.")

December 1, 2007

Vince
Feb. 27, 1957-Nov. 14, 1993

The Earworm that Keeps on Giving

Tween dream Ashley Tisdale poorly lip synching in front of "musicians" badly finger synching.

The Thanksgiving Train to Grandma's

Nov. 22, 2007

U.S. Botanic Gardens, Washington, DC

Over the river and through the wood, to Grandma's house we go by train! (Click on pictures to enlarge)

We wind our way past quaint houses...

and grand palaces.

Deep in the recesses of the forest we spy the ruins of ancient civilizations.

While changing trains I bought Grandma some chocolates from a local vendor.

Off on Train #2! Yes we can, yes we can!

The rest of the trip must be on foot. I check the map for the route to Grandma's. GRANDMA!!!

I made a wrong turn! Lost in the desert! It's as dry as Aunt Mary's turkey here!


Now I'm in the jungle! Oh no! Which way to Grandma's house? We are missing the green bean casserole!

If only I had GPS in my hat! But I will not stop and ask for directions. No man in my family ever has!


Exotic flowers point the way back to the road!


Wait! That's it! There's Grandma's house and she is waiting for me on the porch! I smell her Kentucky Jam cake from here!


Here's Grandma with her cat Whitey.



The sun shines on a Happy Thanksgiving!




I gratefully drink my tea and reflect on my blessings.




Credits:

United States Botanic Gardens: Itself
Program: "A Midnight Clear" Nov 22-Jan 6, 2008.
Photography: JessiCub
Train Gardens and Sculptures:Paul Busse (Applied Imagination of Alexandria, Kentucky)
Grandma: Grandma HerbofDC
Whitey the Cat: Whitey

What NOT to Do on Thanksgiving!

It just knocks the stuffing out of me that I find more and more retail businesses that are open on Thanksgiving Day. Are we so cranberry pickin' busy that we must be catered to every day of the year? Yeah the stores are packed before T-Day but let's give those underpaid, unappreciated pumpkin pie pushers a break.

I have relatives in the grocery business and Thanksgiving is the only day they have off from the middle of November until they collapse from exhaustion on Christmas Day and now they are about to lose that.

So people for the love of all things ButterBall:

Buy your "Ingredients for Life" some day other than Thanksgiving Day at Safeway. Tell Giant that you would prefer a "Giant on Your Side" on November 21st not November 22. RiteAid, with us "It's Personal" too so let your employees have a day off!

K-Mart, can you dim that Blue Light until Black Friday? We really don't need you "Right Here, Right Now" every day of the year.

So please stay home and enjoy friends and families. Read a good book. Volunteer at a shelter. Take a walk and do some bird watching. Text message a thank you to a military man or woman. Call an old friend. If you run out or have forgotten some critical canned Thanksgiving tradition, its OK. Improvise. Borrow from a neighbor. But stay out of the stores please!

So Relax. Enjoy! Stop and smell the green bean casserole and have a great Thanksgiving!

PS. Stay out of McDonald's also. "I'm Lovin' It" by boycotting you for a day. I don't care if the McRib is back!

Text Message Your Thanks to Military Men and Women!

Do some thanking for Thanksgiving! America Supports You is providing a new way to send your thanks to the troops - by text message! When you send your message of thanks to 89279 (TXASY) between November 17th and 22nd, you will receive a special thanks in return. Just another way that you can support our brave military men and women serving in 177 countries across the world.


Click Here for more information!

Conversations with My Fisher & Paykel Harem

My Dear Fisher & Paykel Appliances:

Oh my lovely dishdrawers! I loved you from the moment I saw you! Two drawers! No matronly Midwestern Whirlpool monogadishwasher for me! I will wash dishes using a minimum of water and power! I will be green! Clinching the deal was when the nice Bray and Scarff salesman asked if I was aware of the "party mode."

"Party mode?"

"Yes, when you are having a party, pop out the dish racks and fill the drawers with ice."

Although the last party I threw was somehow connected with the now long gone night club Tracks, this convinced me you were my eHarmony match in polygamist appliance heaven.

I will be green. I will be popular again. I will have dishdrawer three ways. I will always be in party mode.

However, in less than five months this is the second time you have abandoned me. The first time the helpful Bray and Scarff repairman said I had overloaded you. How is that possible? We haven't even had a party yet! Just quiet romantic dinners followed by a little one or two drawer action.

Regardless I started loading you with fewer dishes which means I have to run you more often. I don't think that is very green of you quite frankly.

After the most recent breakdown the repairman suggested I was using the wrong kind of soap. Since the dishwasher was starting to smell I had wiped down the inside of the drawers using liquid dish washing liquid. Through some kind of on-the-spot CSI analysis he assumed I had been using this soap when running the dish drawers.

"No. I only did this AFTER it broke down and started to smell."

Once again a circuit board was ordered and I await for you to be returned to my fading green household on Monday.


Joining the two of you in jilting me is your trollop sister--my Fisher & Paykel refrigerator. How I was seduced by your curves. How you fit perfectly in my non-standard size kitchen. How I loved the fact that you were a bottom mount.

But yesterday I noticed a little water in the mount of your bottom. By the morning it was clear, both the freezer and refrigerator sections weren't cooling. Were you jealous of the attention your tramp dish drawer sisters were getting? Did I overload you with love? Am I using the wrong kind of soap?

I feel sad right now because I still love all three of you. Please come back! Let's try to make this work!

I am fervently hoping that on Monday your love for me will be restored and my Fisher & Paykel harem will be complete again. It's unfair to ask the GE cooktop to do all the work on Thanksgiving. In the meantime I am off to get some paper plates and another bag of dry ice--five pounds at a time. I don't want to overload you.

Love,

Herb