Monday, September 22, 2008

What If Everyone Bought Wall Street a LG - 50" Flat-Panel Plasma HDTV Instead?











Having trouble picturing $700 billion ($700,000,000,000)? This is all it is--a really nice LG 50" Class 1080p Flat-Panel Plasma HDTV for $2293.37.


If all 305,227,684 Americans personally ponied up to help out Wall Street, they could buy 305,227,684 incredibly kick a** plasma TVs from Best Buy to contribute. Maybe Wall Street could hawk them on eBay or create baffling plasma based derivative instruments to sell to each other? (Okay, so technically this TV is on sale for $2,299.98 but I think Best Buy will come down $6.61, just based upon sheer volume.)

This is a big investment; we probably also want a service plan in case of power surges or stagflation, right? The Best Buy Geek Squad Black Tie Protection 4 Year Plan for 305,227,684 TVs at $199 each adds another sixty billion ($60,740,309,116) to the tab.

Of course we are going to buy a really nice wall mounting system. With
The Sanus - Full Motion Wall mount you can get mounted for $106,826,637,123.16.

Misc cables, surge protectors, adapters and MREs are $103.98 for an add-ons of $31,737,574,582.32.


The Bill

Plasma HDTV $700,000,000,000.00

Geek Squad Service Plan $60,740,309,116.00

Wall Mounting Kits $106,826,637,123.16

Misc Cables etc $31,737,574,582.32

Total before taxes $899,304,520,821.48

DC Sales Tax (8%) $71,944,361,665.71

Total: $971,248,882,487.19

Don't have that much cash laying around?

Best Buy's financing Program A (Variable Standard APR = Prime Rate + 14.4 percentage pts) is currently offered at 19.8% so you would pay interest of $192,307,278,732.46 the first year.

WHEW!

The Bottom Line:

$1,163,556,161,219.56

That's right over one trillion dollars.

You buy a plasma TV, throw in a couple of add-ons and before you know it, you are talking real money.

305,227,684 freaking LG 50" Class 1080p Flat-Panel Plasma HDTVs!

You can mount them on the wall and stare at them for years. Maximum picture quality and Clear Voice technology for enhanced audio performance. Fluid Motion (180Hz effect) ensures that action scenes look smooth and natural as long as you, you know, still have electricity.

I still don't feel any better about this. Thank god Best Buy is offering free shipping.


I need to call Comcast now. I am available each Monday from 8 am - Noon now through 2055.


4 comments:

Metro Man said...

lol...funny!

BTW, I nominated you for the "Certified Honest Blogger" Award!

http://www.wtfmetro.com/2008/09/acceptance-speech.html

Katherine said...

So yeah, I did too. You're so it.

http://whoinventedroses.com/2008/09/25/housekeeping/

washwords said...

ha ha ha ha ha. omg Herb, you are literally the funniest.

Between this and the sadistic wedding shower post, well wow, thanks for cheering up my gloomy thursday.

btw, love what you've done with the place, esp. "blogs I stalk" esp. the john mccain one and well mine. :)

lacochran said...

The extended warranty stuff is a total scam.

Total.

Scam.

The rest sounds good, though.