Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year: No Bold Outline of Truth Here

Just me here on New Year's eve, babysitting two more dogs (one a lively puppy) and watching TV. Four dogs = one extremely p.o'd cat and one baby sitter really tired of throwing for ONE LAST TIME the poor mangled wet squirrel chew toy.

Bernice and Anthony enter Sugarbaker's with Bernice blowing a party horn.
BERNICE: Happy New Year!
JULIA: Well, Happy New Year, Bernice.
BERNICE: (blowing horn at Suzanne) Happy New Year, Suzanne.
SUZANNE: Happy New Year to you too, Bernice.....ya little fruitcake.
JULIA: Suzanne!!
SUZANNE: Oh, she knows I'm just kidding. She loves for me to call her that, don't you Bernice?
BERNICE: It's ok. I would mind though, for example, if we were at the White House.
SUZANNE: Ok, I'll remember that.
MARY JO: Bernice, why are you wearing your Christmas tree skirt?
BERNICE: Well, this is the skirt you gave me for Christmas.
MARY JO: Yes, I know. It's not to wear. It's a Christmas tree skirt. You're supposed to put it around the base of your Christmas tree.
BERNICE: Oh! Well no wonder. I like to never got this thing on. I finally just let the waist out and tied it with a belt.

Ross and Monica do "The Routine"

Mary Jo and Suzanne are sitting in the hospital waiting room after Charlene goes into labor
MARY JO: What have you got in that envelope?
SUZANNE: Charlene's jewelry. Julia just gave it to me. Did you see this dinky little diamond chip (bracelet) Bill gave her?
MARY JO: Suzanne, they're saving for a house.
SUZANNE: Well, I don't care. In a few minutes she's gonna be lying in that delivery room like a big ole zeppelin tied to stirrups, and he gives her a chip........can you believe it?

Shortly later on the phone with Bill......
SUZANNE: Listen, Colonel? Next time you go buying jewelry we gotta talk. I mean, this little diamond chip business isn't gonna get it. That's something you give a six year old when she joins the church.

Greg Evigan and Marie Osmond "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?"

The roads are snowed over, so Bernice calls an ambulance to take her to the hospital when she hears that Charlene is in labor.

AMBULANCE DRIVER: Did you know that it's a criminal offense to solicit an emergency vehicle under false pretenses?

BERNICE: Do you know that if the Avon lady falls down on your property you have to pay for it?

Elvis "Auld Lang Syne".

The ladies and Anthony have been mesmerized by the tales at Miss Minnie's bedside as she starts to speak passionately and emotionally.

MISS MINNIE BELL WARD: ....I thought as I got older, the bold outline of truth would be revealed to me, but it hasn't happened. When I was young, I was in such a hurry. And now, I've been here a hundred years. It seems like only yesterday I held my babies in my arms. I'm glad to be going home. It's been a long time since I've seen my family. And I wish for all of you, all the love and happiness I had in my life -- and I hope the world keeps going toward freedom. And I hope that people everywhere can learn to live together in peace. As my pappa used to say......we ain't what we should be, we ain't what we're gonna be, but at least we ain't what we were.....

"Somewhere Out There"


Malnurtured Snay said...

Happy New Year, Herb! I am also alone (excepting the cats). Trying to decide between Cutthroat Island or a Saved By the Bell marathon. Decisions, decisions.

LiLu said...

Happy New Year, Herb. Sounds like a killer way to ring it in :-)